Something About Vans    by Todadler  © 1987

Part 1, Autumn of My Madness

My madness get worse these days. I tell you why. You know of when encounter I Lion Force Voltron - a.k.a. Go Lion - via my TV set? Recently happen same thing, only this time involve Vehicle Team Voltron, Dairugger XV.
One day I sit around Well of Nightmares, toy with ideas for sequel to Lions & Dreams, further adventures of Voltron. I play with my toy Vehicle Team Voltron when suddenly get I idea see what on TV. I check several channels before find I, to my delight, Voltron back on. They play Vehicle Team episode, one I recognize not, so I decide watch, toy Voltron in my lap.
In this episode Voltron team discover mysterious gateway, they try figure out what do it. They talk about strange energy they detect while on Explorer, gate source of energy. While fiddle Chip with controls, he hit wrong button, cause gate activate. Brilliant bubble light leap out at team members, they flee, but Rocky fall down, energy buffet him.
Gateway in meantime activate, connect with my TV somehow, pull me through interdimensional warp like that created by Doorway of Dimensions in Castle of Lions that help Lion Force team reach my world, recruit me for their team. When recover I from my unexpected trip, several members of team stand around me. Cric find my toy, pick it up. Commander Jeff help me up, ask if I all right. I introduce myself. I of course know some of their names, but first Jeff introduce me to everyone, I pick up those names I know not. Then gateway close, as they know not how reactivate it, I stuck in their Universe for now-time.
They take me aboard Explorer, introduce me to Commander Hawkins, rest of crew. I meet new crewmate, older woman, still attractive in human terms, Lieutenant Myers. She nice woman, quite smart - I pick-up that immediately. I detect high psi potential in her as well - high for human.
Voltron team members love my toy. It look very much like real Voltron, though some details different. I tell them about my world, how in my dimension they all characters in TV show. They find that most amusing. Sometimes one person’s fantasy another person’s reality - but this bit much, yes! I tell them similar thing happen to me once before, with different Voltron. They find that intriguing too.
Jeff give me grand tour of Explorer. He show me all over ship - control rooms, mess, kitchen, crew quarters, hydroponics, power supply, armory. I meet little robot Hardware as well. When see he me, he flee in terror! Jeff laugh.
Along way Jeff tell me about Alliance, about Explorer, about their mission, about Voltron, about Drules. Much what say he I know already, but I learn much new. Some what say he contradict what learn I from cartoon, but I expect that, because when I in Universe of Lion Voltron some material from that cartoon jibe with that reality not.
We go to sick bay. I mention I have healing powers, Jeff tell me Rocky horribly hurt by energy from mystery doorway. We wait until finish medics treating Rocky’s injuries, then I lay my hands on him. I feel out his injuries. They many, some bad, but he as badly off as Lance not when first see I him. Rocky out of action for long time, they say. I assure them I will shorten that time.
I send my healing powers through his body, seek out worst injuries, will them heal. Rent flesh knit together bit beneath my hands. Chemical imbalances lessen. I feel out, work on several hurts until my healing power spent. Rocky still have long way go, but between me and expert care of doctors aboard Explorer, he will recover completely. After I finish, doctor examine him, amazed at amount healing I do, agree Rocky will recover fully, and faster than normal.
Finally reach we hangar where keep they Voltron - or, rather, his separate parts. As approach I those ships, I detect something - I can identify it not. Something seem reach out to me, grab at my very life essence, touch something inside me. Memories of recent experiences flicker through my mind. I feel suddenly dizzy. I see image of - what? Something I recognize, and recognize not--
"Todadler, are you all right?" Jeff support me. I reply: "Todadler all right. Perhaps trip through doorway and healing Rocky get to me."
Commander Hawkins show me small room where stay I until figure-out they way return me to my home Universe. Cric bring me my toy, I place it on table next to bed. I decide take nap while reorient I myself in my new surroundings.
I wonder about strange attack I have in Voltron hangar. What sense I there? What touch my soul? I remember my experiences with Lion Voltron. Surely this repeat of that not! But I wonder. Vehicle Voltron defender of this parallel Universe - why live he not? Or she? After all, Lion Voltron turn out Lioness, heh heh. What if live Vehicle Voltron, too? Then how become he/she fifteen vehicles? I know that strange feeling mean something!
I send my mind throughout ship. I enter Voltron hangar with my mind. I feel for that strange energy, I pick-up it again. But it elude me. Tangible, but its nature elusive. I definitely onto something! I recall how elude nature of Lion Voltron me until my experiment.
My experiment!
I turn my mind back to that time. So long ago, almost two years, but I recall it as if perform I it yesterday. I recall metaphysical energy I unleash on myself by distilling and consuming very essence of Lion Force Voltron. What about essence of Vehicle Team Voltron?
I feel that trace of Voltron essence still in me. I will it towards vehicles. It become - well, hot. That best way describe to you who understand not what sense, experience nagh-kaar rikani. Essence react to something in Vehicle Team modules! Now I almost certain Vehicle Voltron live!
But only one thing will confirm that - if pilot I part of robot, if need they Voltron for something. But already vanquish they Drule Empire. Or, at least, they drive back bad guys, make allies of Drules they rescue from tyrannical leaders who conquer new Drule world, regain power for short time. So perhaps they will need Voltron not. Or perhaps they will - last I hear, Viceroy Throk at large.
And they short one pilot.
I decide bide my time. I will tell them not what suspect I, until confirm I it. Until know I for certain true nature of this Voltron. Besides, better if get-to-know they me first. Else they think I some lunatic. I will make friends with them before give I them reason think I have squirrels in my attic.
That night dream I of Drule base. Faraway base, where lurk Throk, other leaders of Drule warmongers, plus some allies of other races. They out there, I dream, they have plan bring Galaxy to its knees. They fear Voltron not - they have plan take care of him. They will strike suddenly, swiftly, destroy power of Galaxy Alliance, get rid of Voltron forever! I dream it as live action rather than as cartoon.
I wake up, think of my dream. No doubt dream I about Drules because I in their galaxy, in their Cosmos. I tell others about my dream. They tell me of nightmares they have in past, in which defeat Drules them, galaxy enslaved by power-mad Drule leaders. But they have happy dreams, too, in which they win.
They tell me more about their purpose, about battles they have, about how finally drive away they Viceroy Throk and his gang, free Drules again. But they only repel them, vanquish them not. New Drule leaders, they say, most concerned since these renegades still out there somewhere, insist Galaxy Alliance safe not as long as Throk’s bunch still on loose.
I get-to-know all of Voltron team soon enough. We spend most of time in talk and games since have we little else do. Galaxy at peace for now, they explore new planets as always. They use Voltron vehicles, they use fourteen. Air team incomplete, that mere inconvenience as far as they concerned. They make do without strato-weapons module.
I meet some of new leaders of Drule people. I meet Mongo, Dorma as well. They tell me some Drules still have sentiment for their former leaders, still want return of old Drule Empire. Drules have many allies, some of whom unfriendly to Galaxy Alliance. Wrong leader make rogue Drules and their allies dangerous force - Alliance perhaps have need for Voltron again. They hope Rocky recover before then. But Rocky have long road ahead of him, even with my help.
That night, ship time, I sleep again, have dream about secret rogue Drule base. I see it even more clearly this time. I hear dialogue between Throk and his allies - Drule and other races - very distinctly. Coherent, logical, quite different from typical dream dialogue. They discuss their plans attack Alliance. They know Voltron Force short one flyer, they will launch sneak attack on Explorer, get rid of Voltron, unleash their full strength on Galaxy Garrison, force Alliance to its knees. I somehow see location of base, too - if exist it outside my mind, I can find it. But this only dream.
Perhaps.
Things go smoothly next several days. We visit new solar system, I ride with Voltron Team to terrestrial-type planet, explore with them. Occur to them not have me replace Rocky as pilot of strato-weapons module. I suggest this not. I ride with Land Team, sometimes fly I around by myself, help them survey, collect samples, keep eye (and mind) out for danger. I show them my talents of telekinesis, clairvoyance, cryokinesis, shape shifting, they most impressed. They glad have me around in case pop-up anything really bad.
Twice more dream I of secret base of Drule renegades. After this fourth dream, I wonder - dream I of real place? My dreams perhaps clairvoyant contacts? What if see I plans of enemies? And how go my mind there? What attract it there, if travel my mind while sleep I to far end of galaxy? I remember well what discuss they. If dream I not, but tap onto plans of warlords planning conquest of Galaxy, I know what will happen, I know where will-strike they. I know when not, though. Perhaps I will know not until too late!
Every time I ride in vehicles, I feel that tugging, that strange power latch onto something in me. But every time I feel it, try touch back, it flee. Power elude me, though come it into my very soul. I mention nothing to my friends, though notice they I sometimes get dizzy, space out, even pant when I around Voltron’s modules. I usually regain my self-control in few moments, but each time more difficult. Also, I have tendency babble when I in vehicles or close to them. I have hard time controlling that. Cliff tire of my erratic behavior, so I ride with Hutch or Cinda.
We continue this routine for some time. Peaceful, but get tiresome. We take brief "shore leave" have fun, break tedium. I join my friends as planet-hop we for few days, see sights, amuse ourselves. They introduce me to friends, loved ones. Others react adversely when first see they me, but once they used to my unlovely appearance they quite comfortable with me, as I love chat.
We visit Rocky in hospital. He well enough by now sit up, talk with us for some time. I give him healing session. I assure him complete recovery in his future, even if heal I him again not.
We return to Explorer. We glad, as it their home away from home, my only home in this Universe. I pooped, so I go to my quarters rest. Without opportunity for trances, which provide me with rest, I need real sleep. At once I fall asleep.
I dream again of that secret base. I see them make preparations - for attack! They plan attack now! I suddenly back on Explorer, run to bridge, yell: "Enemy attack! Renegade Drules attack! They come now!"
"Todadler! What the hell is going on?" There stand Commander Hawkins, in his jammies. I grab him, shake him, say: "Hawkins! Viceroy Throk come! He have large force! He about attack Explorer! Todadler see him!"
Hawkins: "Are you out of your mind? You’ve woken up just about everybody on the ship!"
I reply: "I see them, dammit! I see Drule renegades! I see their secret base! They launch their attack now! They after Explorer! They want destroy Voltron! They will destroy you unless prepare you now!"
"What’s this nonsense about a secret base and renegade Drules?"
"Todadler see them all in her dream."
"Well, it was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep."
"Dream not! Todadler think it just dream, but it real! What I see real! What call you nightmare really clairvoyant image! You must prepare defend yourself! Launch Voltron Force at once or Explorer finished!"
Hawkins really ticked, say: "Todadler, will you just go back to your quarters and--"
"Commander Hawkins!" come Myers’ voice over intercom. "There’s a large fleet of unidentified vessels headed this way!"
Hawkins and I run to bridge. Those on night duty salute their commander. He say: "Myers, what the devil are you doing here at this hour?"
Myers: "I heard Todadler hollering about some renegade Drule force, and for some odd reason I knew there really was trouble, so instead of just going back to sleep I decided to go to the bridge and turn on the long-range scanners, and I discovered this fleet."
Hawkins look at me. I look at screen. I place my hands on control panel, focus my mind on what pick-up scanner. I see very clearly fleet of Drule ships coming towards Explorer. Large fleet, far more than this ship can take on by herself. I tell Hawkins and others, most of whom in night clothes, what see I.
Jeff: "Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get moving!"
Hawkins: "Not yet, Jeff. Let’s lay low for a while and make them think we don’t know they’re coming. Todadler, how many ships do you detect?"
I scan again, I count them carefully. Over eight hundred. Hawkins shocked when report I that. Myers: "The Explorer could never take on that many ships at once! It would take Voltron to handle that fleet!"
Hawkins: "And we don’t have Voltron. We don’t have anyone who can fly the strato-weapons module, and we’ve just been making do without it in our exploration. But we need it to form Voltron. Let’s hope the fourteen modules we have are enough to fend them off."
I expand my mind outward, search for enemy activity, find none besides approaching fleet. I assure my companions these ships only foes in area. But that reassure them not, for they have enough firepower defend themselves against foes who approach now.
We wait, we prepare as much as possible without tipping enemy off that we know they come. I scan enemy fleet, look for weak points. Every little bit help, yes. Perhaps I will fly out, confront enemy in my Queen-of-Nightmares form, my battle form, do as much damage as I can.
Voltron Force launch. Land and Sea Teams unite. They fire fiercely at enemy ships, take heavy toll on them. But Explorer sustain much damage. I know for certain one thing now: only Voltron can save day. "Commander Hawkins! Only Voltron can save Explorer!" say I.
Hawkins: "But that’s the problem - we don’t have Voltron. With Rocky out, we don’t have--"
I declare: "You have Voltron, yes! Todadler can fly strato-weapons module! She know she can! Todadler fly part of other Voltron when have she experience not, she can fly this!"
Hawkins: "You’re crazy!"
Myers: "I say let her try. It’s our only chance."
Hawkins: "All right, Todadler. I hope you know what you’re doing."
"Trust me. You speak to nagh-kaar riki, Hawkins."
I race to hangar, ride seat to last remaining Voltron module. I scan controls, in minute know I them well. I grab joystick, off go we!
Quickly join I in fray. I zap two enemy ships before know anyone I there. Then Jeff see me, buzz my view-screen. He see me in cockpit, say: "Todadler! I don’t believe it! But how do you know how to pilot the strato-weapons module?"
"Because I nagh-kaar riki, that why. So, for what wait you, Jeff - rabbit? Or robeast, perhaps?"
Jeff declare: "We’re not waiting for anything now! Let’s form Voltron!"
Land and sea teams separate. Now fly we into formation. We lock together in our most powerful form, as link we, I feel that power - lifeforce! Yes! Just as suspect I all along - this Voltron alive, too!
I scream: "VOLTRON! YOU LIVE! YOU LIVE!"
Jeff: "What the hell was that all about?" I forget turn off communicator! I reply: "Never mind me, Jeff - flatten we this fleet!"
I stream myself into Voltron’s life field, into cyborg’s very soul. As flow I with Voltron’s lifeforce, I realize that Vehicle Team Voltron, like Lion Force Voltron, female! Both Voltrons ladies! How like you that? I turn my mind to main task, enemy fleet. I latch onto Voltron’s slumbering mind, expand myself through her great body so I can best help her fight.
We blast away at enemy fleet, fire with lasers, then with solar combat spears. In few minutes much of fleet destroyed or damaged. We close in on leaders’ ships. We form Blazing Sword. I use my telekinesis help guide her mighty weapon to weakest points of battlecraft. I feel my own soul flowing through Voltron’s body, flowing with her soul. I recall time in other Universe, times we form Lion Voltron after learn we her secret, when flow I with her lifeforce, help her in battle. I flow now as flow I those times, only easier as my psi skills increase even in short time since then. But now I only one who aware of Voltron’s true nature. Other time, my soul, souls of other pilots flow together with Voltron, but now flow only I with her. I sense others in their modules, but they flow with us not, since they aware of Voltron’s real nature not. They perhaps sense me, but only I can sense Voltron.
I will her sword through hull of first main ship, it rip like crepe paper. Whole ship then explode in many-colored flames. We go after other ships. What remain of fleet begin retreat. We destroy two more ships before let we survivors escape down spaceways.
We disassemble, return to Explorer. Others thank me for helping them. They carry me on their shoulders to bridge. Jeff say: "We couldn’t have stopped that fleet without you, Todadler. But just what did you mean by ‘Voltron! You live!’?"
Because Voltron alive! I tell you about other Voltron in other Universe. This Voltron same, yes! She alive, but in state suspended animation. I know because I feel her lifeforce flow through me in battle."
Cliff: "That’s the looniest thing I ever heard in my life!"
Hawkins: "One thing is for certain - I have never seen Voltron fight so well. I am certain it is because Todadler was part of the team."
Jeff: "Yes, Voltron did do his best ever, thanks to Todadler." I give aw-shucks look. "But I don’t believe Voltron is alive! He’s just a machine!"
I reply: "No! She live! SHE! Voltron alive, and female!"
Ginger: "I don’t know where you got such far-out ideas, Todadler, but robot’s aren’t alive. And it doesn’t matter whether we call Voltron ‘he’ or ‘she.’ Robots don’t have any - uh, gender."
Cinda: "Stop picking on Todadler! Maybe she’s right! Maybe Voltron is alive! Remember, she did go to that parallel Universe with its version of Voltron, and found out that one was alive - and a female, too. Maybe Voltron really is a she."
Hutch: "I’m pretty sure Voltron’s a boy, even if he is alive."
I say: "Todadler positive Voltron female. If Voltron male, I know it. But I detect female essence. Not just because other Voltron female. I know this one she, also."
Tagor: "Don’t be so silly! Machines aren’t alive!"
Cric: "This is ridiculous! We ought to be thanking Todadler for helping us instead of arguing about something so ridiculous!"
Jeff: "You’re right. Enough of this nonsense about Voltron being alive. Todadler, from now on you are an official Voltron Force pilot." We shake hands. Others cheer.
Cliff: "Even if she is nuttier than my grandmother’s brownies."
Chip: "Leave her alone, Cliff! What if she is right about Voltron?"
Cliff: "Don’t tell me you’ve gone Harry Bonkers, too!"
Jeff: "I said enough of that, dammit!"
We then head for our quarters. They go back to sleep, but I sleep not. Instead I find disk on Alliance history, put it in my compute read. I decide best if know I something of this galaxy’s background.
"I was afraid this would happen." Mongo look most solemn. "I knew that as long as Viceroy Throk and his cronies were alive and still at large, they were likely to try something like this. Lucky for you - for all of us - Todadler saw that attack coming."
Hawkins speak to his friend on main screen. "Yes. It looks as though the galaxy won’t be secure until they are in Galaxy Alliance custody."
Mongo: "I can’t believe the strength they were able to muster. I have no idea where they found so many followers and so much materiél. No doubt there’s more where that raid came from."
"Their base must be carefully hidden. No doubt it is in the unexplored regions of the galaxy. Otherwise, we would have known of this long ago."
"And trying to find that base will be like trying to find a micro-meteor in a planetary nebula."
"Perhaps not. Todadler’s clairvoyance picked up the enemy fleet long before it was in attack range. She believes she has had clairvoyant contact with Throk’s rogues via dreams. She is going to attempt to find the base telepathically. I know it sounds crazy and impossible, but I believe she can do it."
"If I have heard correctly, she also thinks that Voltron is alive."
"Yes. She’s been driving us nuts with that. Maybe if she turns her attention to finding Throk’s secret base, she’ll back off from that nonsense about Voltron. She says that she was once in a parallel Universe helping the team that piloted its Voltron, and that Voltron turned out to be a living being in a state of suspended animation. When that Voltron awakened, so Todadler tells it, the crew became one with the robot. Todadler seems to believe the same thing is true of our Voltron."
"Well, nobody in Galaxy Garrison - or anywhere, for that matter - knows where he came from originally. Nobody knows who designed Voltron, or even how long he’s been around. I have uncovered some stories about Voltron that date back many centuries, to the first years of Galaxy Alliance, long before we Drules started giving you trouble. They are only legends, though, and they don’t specify whether Voltron was alive or mechanical, though some of them hint at Voltron being a biomechanical entity - possibly even a cyborg."
"It is possible that Voltron does have some biological elements. In fact, most of his computer system contain biochips. Maybe that’s why Todadler detects life energy. Where she gets the idea that Voltron is female, I haven’t the faintest idea."
"Did that other Voltron look anything like ours?"
"Todadler has never said anything about what she looked like, but I believe she said there were five pilots, meaning five modules. I cannot tell you whether her story about the other Voltron is true, or whether Todadler is making it up. I have a feeling it’s true, though."
"I really don’t believe Todadler is as crazy as you may think she is. You have to realize she isn’t human - or Drule, for that matter, or of any other known race in this galaxy. With her extra senses, she experiences the Universe in an entirely different way than you and I do. We can’t describe a mind so far removed from ours in, ah, anthropopathic terms. What is normal for her may seem totally irrational to us. Different intelligent species have different senses and different lifestyles, and thus different experiences and different psychologies. True, all intelligences have the same basic underlying psychology; but the specifics vary from species to species and even from individual to individual. If nagh-kaar rikis are all as intelligent and psychically aware as Todadler is, then their psychology is completely alien to any known in this galaxy."
I listen in to conversation, I remember it well. They know not I overhear them, just as well. I watch from corner of bridge, stay unnoticed until decide I time appropriate make my presence known. I enter just as end Hawkins his conversation with Mongo.
Explorer commander say: "Todadler! I was just about to ask you to come to the bridge." He smile, then say: "Then again, you are quite the psychic. I have a new task for you. You claim to have had clairvoyant contact with Throk’s secret base. Do you think you could locate it and guide us to it with your psionic abilities?"
"Yes, Commander. No problem." I seat myself in navigator’s chair. I focus my mind on memories of dreams, try pick up same vibes I detect in them. I soon pick-up vibes like those I sense from enemy ships when pull they sneak attack. I follow those vibes across breadth of space, to their source. I focus all my attention on this task. In vastness of space, I have hard time following them. I lose psi tracks several times. I sit there couple hours I later learn.
Suddenly get I idea. I come out of trance, say: "Commander Hawkins, Todadler have trouble finding base. But I believe I can find it with help of Voltron."
Hawkins: "What do you mean?"
"Normally, I use pool blood in Well of Nightmares focus my psi power. When I with other Voltron team I create seeing-pool with blood I take from enemies." I overhear someone say: "Blood - yuck!" "Then I discover Voltron - that other Voltron - enhance my psionic strength. I confident your Voltron will do same."
"You mean we’ll have to form Voltron in order to find that base?"
"Perhaps not. Voltron’s lifeforce strongest in command module - that form her head. I need only that."
"I hope Jeff will agree to your flying Voltron’s command module. If he doesn’t, tell him I authorize you to."
"Thank you, Commander. I assure you I will find that base with Voltron’s help."
Captain Newley: "How can Voltron enhance your psychic talents?"
"Because she alive. I can tap onto her powerful lifeforce add strength to my own psi powers. In addition, Voltron have some psi ability herself."
"HIM, you lizard-faced, bird-legged wacko! Voltron’s a HE! And he--"
Hawkins snap: "You keep your mind on your own business, Captain!"
I go to Jeff, tell him of Hawkins’ plan. He at first reluctant let me take command module, but when tell I him Hawkins give me OK he let me. I fly to hangar, enter command module, take off into space. When I some distance from Explorer, away from psionic interference, I again seek out psi traces of enemy fleet. With Voltron’s lifeforce help me I follow them more easily. I concentrate, I focus my entire mind on finding enemy base. I follow traces through space-time. I try fly with them not as fly I Black Lion after my friends that time in other Universe when kidnap Queen Merla them. I need stick around Explorer for now.
Finally find I base! I lock my mind onto that position. Slowly, carefully, I figure out its coordinates. I will my hands move, enter proper coordinates into computer, relay them back to bridge of Explorer. I keep my mind on location of secret base as use I present location of Explorer as reference point give my friends location of our foe. Finally have I correct combination in my head, I tap out those data.
Hawkins’ voice come: "It’s about time! You’ve been out there for hours!"
I reply: "This galaxy big place, you know, those traces difficult follow over such great distances. Without Voltron take me days find them."
Jeff appear on view screen, say: "Good work, Todadler! Now we can clean up the Galaxy once and for all."
I return to Explorer. When start I explain how enhance Voltron my psi powers, Jeff say: "Will you please put a lid on that bullshit! I know you have remarkable powers and senses beyond ours, and I do appreciate your helping us - but I don’t want to hear another word about Voltron being alive. Voltron is a machine, and that’s all there is to it. Machines don’t have souls or life-forces. Exactly how he makes your psychic powers stronger, I have no idea - it probably has to do with his neurodic computer systems. But Voltron is not alive!"
She alive, yes, damn your doubts! think I. How can I convince him what say I true? I must convince them, prove to them Voltron live! They need know, they need believe - for they, like Keith, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Lance when awaken Lion Voltron, they will become one with Vehicle Voltron when rouse she from her sleep. If believe they me not, when time come, they prepared for their destiny not, hard on them, on Voltron too. They must believe, they must know! They know, but they believe not, so just as if know they not.
Chip declare: "I believe her!"
Lisa: "I second the motion. I don’t think Todadler would make up something so outrageous. Yes, I know it sounds crazy; but what is that saying about the Universe? It’s not weirder than we imagine, it’s weirder than we can imagine."
Ginger: "Lisa, you’ve gone off your rocker!"
Chip: "I wish you guys would stop picking on Todadler! She’s a lot smarter than any of us! She can sense things we don’t even know are there - like that rogue Drule fleet that attacked us. I bet she really can feel Voltron’s soul. We can’t because we’re only - well, whatever race of humanoids we may be - but Todadler’s a nagh-kaar riki and a mystic. She isn’t crazy, she’s telling the truth. Smart people always seem crazy to those who have less intelligence."
I say to him: "We Mensans need stick together, yes."
Chip respond: "You mean you have Mensa in your dimension, too?"
"My world parallel to yours. We have different histories, but many things basically same. You come from your dimension’s Earth, I from mine."
Marvin: "You’re from a parallel Earth? Evolution did take quite a strange course there then."
"No. I from other Earth originally not, I just live there. I come from sub-dimension called Well of Nightmares, which my true home. Nagh-kaar rikani evolve long long time ago, I know where not. I know much of ways of that parallel Earth because many times walk I among her inhabitants - in human form. I assure you they humans like you."
Jeff: "Is there a Voltron in your home dimension? Or is that other Voltron you mentioned, the one with five pilots, the defender of your Universe?"
"No, that one live in other dimension perpendicular to mine and yours. But Todadler certain her dimension have its Voltron. So far meet I her - or him - not. Perhaps someday I will. Seem I in habit of bumping into Voltrons. Each Universe perhaps have its Voltron, its defender."
Hutch: "If Voltron is asleep, as you say, what’s going to happen to us when she does awaken?"
"You will merge with her. Other pilots, they merge with modules, get-accustomed-to their new state, finally unite they as so many times before - only that time not only bodies, but minds, souls fuse into one, physical fusion permanent."
Wol: "That’s pretty frightening! How are fifteen of us going to merge?"
"Perhaps will take place in stages. I have feeling reason vehicles can form three teams because after whatever put Voltron into her suspended animation, divide her body into modules, pieces try come back together, but they form three entities. That why modules of air team in almost same positions as Strato-Fighter and as Voltron, why like sea explorers together both in aqua fighter and in Voltron’s legs, why become land team vans her hands and feet, why form main modules her torso. With so many, I believe you will merge in stages rather than all at once."
Cliff quite pissed, he snarl: "I don’t even want to think about it! I’ve had enough of you and your insane horror stories! I’m not going to turn into a bloody equipment carrier!"
Cinda: "Cliff! What if she’s trying to help us? If what she says is true, then we have to listen. Otherwise, if we suddenly turn into our craft, we won’t know what hit us, and we won’t know what to do or what to expect."
"Shut up, dammit! Stop listening to that madwoman! You’ll just start having nightmares if you think about all this crazy stuff she’s saying. Didn’t she say she’s called the Queen of Nightmares? We should have kicked her ass back through that gate."
Chip: "And then we would never have found Viceroy Throk’s secret base!"
Zandee: "Not only that, Throk’s rogue fleet would have destroyed the Explorer, and us with it! Then the entire Galaxy would be at his mercy!"
Jeff: "Enough of this already! Todadler, would you please stop ranting about Voltron being alive? Please, just use your special powers to help us find and defeat Throk and his gang. Don’t worry about Voltron. If he is alive, we’ll find that out for ourselves. But we’ve never gotten any life readings from him, aside from our own. You’ve probably been befuddled by your trip through the gateway. Play it cool for a while. No more living-Voltron baloney. Just find the best way to that base." He pat me on shoulder.
I grumble to myself. They need know! They need believe, prepare themselves for their destiny. THEY NEED BELIEVE!
I feel surge psychic energy. Voltron perhaps sense my frustration. I see Jeff have sudden reaction, as if suddenly confuse something him. Last but moment. I say nothing.
That night, while rest I in my quarters, I try tap onto Voltron. I send my mind into hangar where rest her parts. Voltron, talk to me! Please talk to me! We must prove to Voltron Force you live! They must know, they must believe! Only you can convince them you alive! Voltron, speak to me, please.
She remain silent. I recall how keep Lion Voltron her secret from me. But this same thing not. Thanks to my experience in Lion Voltron’s Universe, I recognize Vehicle Voltron’s lifeforce as such almost immediately. I recognize that energy first time I detect it, I now realize, but I seek proof positive before conclude I that truth. She can hide her secret from me not, for I know it because of my prior experience.
Voltron! I know your big secret! No use you try hide from me - I know you live! Dairugger XV, speak to me, my friend! Speak to me! Play your hidey-hides on me not - Todadler know you alive! I can feel your lifeforce, I know it lifeforce! I recognize that power! You best speak to me! I know you think, you dream, for Golion do-so even as she, like you, in suspended animation, her body all in pieces. She speak to me once know I her secret. I know yours, sister, so speak! I know you care about your little pilot friends, if want you help them, you will speak to me. I their friend, I want help them. They need accept their destiny! We must prove to them you live, that when awaken you from your long sleep they will become one with you! Only you can convince them!
I WILL GET YOU, VOLTRON!
I try for long time, get nothing. Voltron determined keep her silence. I will use patience. Perhaps when I in one of her modules again - command module best of all - I will communicate with her, make her break her silence.
I drift in and out of sleep state. I relax my mind, hope make further contact with rogue Drule base. I send my mind out, pick up nothing. I know where base located, but nothing come to me. Perhaps if become I receptive, passive, I will have more clairvoyant images. I relax myself, shut down most of y mind in preparation enter dream state.
Suddenly shoot pain through my head as if ram steel beam through it. I sit up with swift, stiff motion. I feel my head - something grow out of it! I feel two small growths above and behind my eyes, two wider vertical growths below them, rounded conical shape on top. I know significance of those! My hands then full of pain. I look at them - they become larger, black, metallic! My leathery skin peel away from arms, reveal metallic skin.
My feet feel as if they in lava pool. I feel them swell. I yank away sheet, see parrot feet not, but land vans slowly forming like balloons filling with air! My shins swell, peel, become blue. Then pain crackle across my chest. I see two red fins thrust out, then red airplane shape slowly ooze out of my chest. My head feel as if wear I big car on it like hat. Pain swarm through my body like bees in bag. I roll over onto my face, become dizzy, slide off bed towards floor--
Suddenly I face down in bed. I gasp loudly. Gath - like blood in my body - foam at my lips. My pillow have amber stain painted on it. My body feel normal. I look at my hands - they normal, black, leathery. I feel my head. It normal - somewhat conical, hard, canards, no other projections. I feel my chest. It normal - hard, black, plated. No airplane. I pull back sheet. My feet normal - scaly, clawed, zygodactylic. No vans.
My mind, though, race like overtaxed engine. Voltron reach out and touch me, all right! But I see nothing! I have strange dream, but I still no closer to convincing Jeff, Cliff, other doubting-thomases. Besides, something out of kilter in my psyche. Voltron responsible, drat her! She do something to essence of other one in my system, cause reaction!
I scream at top of my lungs: "VOLTRON!"
I flop back on my bed. I rest for several minutes when tap Jeff at my door. I open it, he enter in his natural state, demand: "What was that all about?"
"Voltron! She drive me nuts! She knock something off center, cause me have strange dream! Look at my pillow - that my gath, my blood!" I almost say she cause reaction in essence of Lion Voltron, but Jeff want no more of that business. "Something wackyshack go on here, Jeff. Knock me off my pins, get worse."
"Don’t tell me it comes from Voltron!"
"Presume we for minute what say you true - Voltron mere mechanical entity. If that so, she - he, as prefer you - have something more to him than just typical robotic elements. Whoever build him put something very strange in that big fellow, I react this way to it. You know not, Hawkins know not, no one in Galaxy Alliance know whence come Voltron originally. From other galaxy, possibly, from highly advanced civilization. Perhaps Voltron at one time live, before his body broken into vehicles. Perhaps if he alive before, Todadler pick up traces of life that once exist."
"Voltron is, always has been, and always will be a robot. Robots are machines, and machines are not alive. He never has been alive and never will be. I think you’re reacting to something you don’t recognize. You may think it’s a living soul, but I think it’s something entirely different. Whatever it is, I’m sure it has some connection with Voltron’s true origin."
I reply "Yes." I look at him, say: "Jeff, you normally sleep in nude?"
Jeff suddenly realize he naked. He look mortified, blush, cover his private parts. I broadcast calming vibes soothe his embarrassment. I say: "What care Todadler if you nude or clothed? I nagh-kaar riki. Look at me - I clothed no more than you. I ashamed of my body not."
"Yes, but you at least look partly clothed, and most of the rest of you is covered with feathers."
"What matter? I mind you naked not."
"The problem is, I walked all the way from my quarters to yours in this state. I hope nobody saw me."
"Perhaps they think you walk in your sleep, you know not you nude."
I let him wrap himself in my sheet for trip back to his own bed. I promise I will speak of this not. I can keep quiet about that.
But I can keep quiet about Voltron not!
Next day I catch Lieutenant Myers by herself in rec room. I sit next to her, ask if can speak we where we overheard not. We go to her quarters. They fairly roomy - enough room for several people sit. That good. I tell her I need discuss something with those Voltron Force pilots who believe me. I know Chip, Lisa, Hutch, Wol believe me, so we summon them to Myers’ room.
I tell them of dream I have night before. I tell them how react Voltron’s essence with that of other Voltron, cause my bizarre dream. Perhaps what mortals call nightmare. But I Queen of Nightmares, I can have nightmares not. Or can I? For we nagh-kaar rikani fear but one thing in Universe: madness. I prone to obsession, that my great weakness. Obsession easily lead to madness, so I in precarious position. I obsessed with Voltron, now I obsessed with proving her true nature. But I must prove it to her pilots, so they can meet their destiny. At least some of them believe me.
We talk about those who accept their destiny not. I tell believers: "Jeff, Cliff toughest cases, hardest convince. Jeff most important, since he commander, fly command module, Voltron’s head - seat of her lifeforce. He must accept his destiny, else awakening take long time, hard on all of you - including Voltron. But he want no more discussion of this matter. Cliff fly off handle every time mention I this in front of him.
"They perhaps fear destiny. You mortals believe in free will, that most wise, for very little in Universe certain, cut-and-dried. Most of us make our own fates regardless of what believe we. But some very few have destiny - for example, my five friends in other Universe, they destined become one with that Voltron, nothing prevent that. They become her pilots not, they make their own lives, some others become one with her. Same with you fifteen - you destined become one with Voltron when awaken she because you choose become pilots of her modules. You choose this fate not, because you know true nature of Voltron not, but because you, controlling your lives, choose join Voltron Team, knowing not you fix your destiny. When you Voltron, though, you have control over your life again - her life, for Voltron as free as anyone else choose how live she. She have her duty, yes, but she have destiny not, she like all others free play her life by ear.
"That perhaps why want Jeff, Cliff, others hear about my findings not. They fear destiny! Mortals want control their own lives, for most part we all control our lives, mortal and immortal. We forge our own futures, that what want we do. Now reveal Todadler you have destiny, future different from what plan you for yourselves. After all, life what happen to you while make you other plans. So why react Jeff and Cliff particularly strongly? I believe matter of individual psychology. Perhaps you who accept your lot more fatalistic than those who believe not."
Wol: "I’ve never been fatalistic. I have always believed we control our own lives. But I do believe all you have said about Voltron. I have already made preparations for leaving this Galaxy. Of course I have long had a will and made other preparations in case of my death, since this is, after all, a high-risk assignment. Becoming one with Voltron won’t be that much different from death - except that, instead of dying, we will assume another life. Which is basically what death is - abandoning one life for another."
I reply: "Yes. Mortals fear death, think it end, oblivion. But it end of only chapter in life-story of soul. Life just temporary assignment. But some of us do so well, we get permanent jobs. Like me - I immortal, after fashion. I can, if desire I, live to end of Universe as Todadler. Or I can someday abandon this form for new one. Even some immortals can die. Nagh-kaar rikani effectively immortal because we have indefinite lifespan, not infinite one."
Chip: "Is Voltron immortal?"
"Yes. She more of immortal than I. She always Voltron. I perhaps someday Todadler no longer, but some even more powerful creature. Perhaps even other Voltron, heh heh! Or perhaps I return my lifeforce to universal pool of energy in total oblivion of self. But Voltron always Voltron, to end of Universe.
Hutch: "Sounds awful scary!"
Chip: "I don’t think it’s scary! We’ll have the whole Universe to explore! We’ll see so many neat planets in far distant galaxies we can’t even imagine and meet all sorts of wonderful people, we’ll never be bored. I’m not afraid of turning into Voltron!"
I say: "That because you young, Chip. You have advantage - you still child, you more flexible, you have your childlike energy and curiosity. You fear such thing not - you look forward to it, since all children dream they superheroes someday. You adjust more easily to your new form."
Myers: "Did you have similar problems with the people who flew the other Voltron?"
"No, they all take it very well. Perhaps because get-to-know I them over long time, they in on my search for her secret, they gain understanding of me and my alien ways, they share with me my frustration, my awareness of Voltron’s - that Voltron’s - metaphysical aspects, perhaps that help them accept their destiny so easily. Bu you and rest of gang, you know me only short time, you raised in more high-tech oriented civilization than they, you view Voltron as mere machine, those who believe not hang onto that concept so they can accept Voltron as living entity not."
I look at team members present. Four accept their destiny, eleven accept it not. I wonder why accept these particular four their fate, why refuse others believe their destiny. Whatever reasons they have, I must prove to all them what will become of them. Some of other eleven borderline, I and believers will work on them. Perhaps if believe enough, any still holding out will believe. Hundredth monkey. Or I will find way prove to them Voltron alive. Experiment, like that I conduct on Arus?
NEIN! NIE!
I realize two things: first, when distill I Lion Voltron’s essence I release tremendous amount metaphysical energy. Because I far from habitation I do no harm, only I affected. But I conduct such experiment here, I right next to everyone, I perhaps harm them, harm Explorer too. Also, I still have trace Lion Voltron essence in me, if mingle physically essences of two Voltrons in my body, release of energy most likely become so intense it destroy ship, crew and all! I can control release of energy with essence of one Voltron not, in that antarctic cave on Arus. I know even if have I essence trace in me not, I still can control energy from essence of Vehicle Voltron not, and on ship with so many people around me - much too risky. I must find other way.
Lisa break silence with: "What is it, Todadler?"
"I try think of way prove Voltron live. In other dimension, I distill that Voltron’s essence, consume it in order learn her secret. But that too dangerous here. First, release of energy I can control not. I do experiment with essence of other Voltron far from habitation on planet, so I cause harm not, but on ship I will cause much damage - psychic as well as physical."
Myers: "Then why don’t you do it on some planet where we land?"
"Now come I to second problem: I still have trace essence of other Voltron in me. Last night have I most averse reaction when mingle essences in my mind. If mingle they physically, reaction much too dangerous. Perhaps even distance will protect Explorer not. Mingling of essences perhaps drive me mad permanently, make me dangerous to you. I must find other way."
Hutch: "Why can’t one of us consume the essence?"
"Metaphysical energy will tell mortal apart in seconds. Least drop far too intense for one of you withstand. Only nagh-kaar rikani have physical and mental endurance survive such experience. In other dimension, I consume far more essence than I need - because I know not then, that Voltron alive. Thus have I still trace her essence in my system." Perhaps because I prone to obsession, I have tendency overdo.
Lisa: "Maybe we can convince the non-believers. Cric is up in the air about what you’ve said about Voltron, and I have a feeling he will soon become one of us. I will talk to the other members of Sea Team and see if I can make some progress. I’m sure that in the meantime you’ll find a way to demonstrate beyond any doubt that Voltron lives."
Hutch: "Cinda seems to be leaning towards believing what you say. You may soon have another friendly ear."
I reply: "Right now my main concern find, destroy renegade Drule base. But I will work on finding way reveal Voltron’s true nature to you all. I will find way, I will convince everyone."
We return to other activities. I go to rec room, play some mind-games with Jeff and others. I learn games quite quickly, soon win I all time. Then I find campaign in role-playing game go on. They invite me join. Players include Voltron pilots and Explorer crew. I learn from them most of crew think I crazy, but few believe me, most notably Lieutenant Myers. Hawkins, one man say, have second thoughts about what say I about Voltron, he perhaps will believe me eventually, But that help me not. Jeff, Cliff, Ginger, Cric, Cinda, Rocky, Marvin, Murdoch, Shannon, Zandee, Tagor need accept their destiny.
That evening study I more galactic history. I read about early years of Alliance. This disk I find mention Voltron, but give little information on her. However, author quote passage from ancient textbook that call Voltron cyborg and refer to mighty warrior as "she." Say little else, except that Voltron "mighty bio-mechanical warrior from a distant part of the Universe" but unclear on whether she truly cyborg, whether she wholly robotic or partly biological. It mention she enter period of dormancy in unknown location before Galaxy Alliance come into existence. That all I find on subject of Voltron! If she so important in days before Alliance, why keep they better records on her not? Something happen between then and now, cause forgetting of many data on her. Deja vu!
I read on, take in happenings of Alliance’s first century. Nothing really spectacular, but clearly happy time. They have their ups and downs, as fluctuate planets’ economies, lunatic fringe groups cause occasional trouble. For most part, though, they cooperate in exploration, research, culture. This early history most fascinating, without violence! No need for war spice up history! Interactions of various planets of Alliance interesting enough. I learn much about various cultures, how learn they get along. Planets have enough strife in those early days what with trade imbalances, political friction. Gradually form they common market as strengthen Alliance, but take well beyond second century of Alliance for them reach economic and trade harmony. Even after that problems still arise. But trouble what make life worth living - problems exercise mind and soul, keep us strong. Besides, galaxy at peace, they study war no more except in history class. They have peace, they maintain it, soon find many planets cooperation fun as well as most beneficial. First couple centuries of Alliance its formative years as learn planets by doing how live together peacefully.
I review that history, I skim through writing again, ask myself questions about people, happenings, whys and hows of interplanetary dealings. I turn computer off, digest my new knowledge. I get-to-know their background, I will get-to-know my friends better.
Next day while in rec room I see Lieutenant Myers drawing. Cinda tell me: "Don’t bother her - she’s doing an automatic drawing." I know those well, for I do them sometimes. You let your mind relax, your hands move anyway they wish. After practice you for time you can make well-executed pictures. She work rapidly, worry not about what do her hand. She let it move as will it, draw whatever image within her unconscious.
Soon she finished. She show it to Cric, he say: "Wow! That’s really some picture! I’ve never seen you do anything like this before! What is it?"
Myers: "I don’t know. It’s just an image that I’ve had in my mind. Now that I see it, I realize it has been there for some time."
I ask see her drawing. When behold I it, I nearly drop pad paper. I recognize her drawing!"
I exclaim: "VOLTRON!"
Cric: "But that doesn’t look anything like Voltron!"
"Yes - this other Voltron!" I show drawing to others. "This what look-like she! I describe her to you not, to Explorer crew not - but this she!"
Detail absolutely perfect. Myers have very clear picture in her mind! I ask her: "How long have you this picture in my mind?"
Myers: "Almost since I first met you. It’s been at the back of my mind, but I could never quite get a hold of it."
"You have very high psi potential, Myers. You pick-up things unconsciously, this drawing show. You pick-up from me appearance of other Voltron, though all I ever tell any of you she have five parts. I say never she made of robot Lions, or that she have all colors, or anything. I tell none of you any details of her appearance. But you, Myers, you pick-up my thoughts, you hold in your mind image of Lion Voltron."
I sense something in Cinda. I can feel - presence of Voltron! I open my mind to her wavelength. Something click in her. She think something like: Maybe Todadler’s right after all! I sense similar change in Cric as look he at Myers’ drawing of Lion Voltron.
We perhaps have two more believers! I about speak, but I squelch urge lest snuff-out I positive thoughts.
Cric look at me, say: That’s absolutely incredible! Is that really the Voltron of the parallel Universe?"
"Yes. Absolutely. Look just like her. Every detail perfect. Myers, you really tuned into my thoughts. I no doubt think about her - perhaps unconsciously - when step I aboard Explorer, you pick-up my thoughts, her image. You have such high psi potential - I can teach you use it. Of course, you have near my power not, since you human, I nagh-kaar riki. We as race have tremendous psi power, since we creatures of mind. But I can teach you use what potential you have."
That evening ship time, Hawkins invite me dine in his private quarters. His digs appropriate for commander of such fine ship. Over dinner of baked squash-like vegetable and red wine he tell me of their plan take out rogue base. Since learn they of Throk’s base, Galaxy Garrison order him and Voltron Force find that base and destroy it. They tell Hawkins take me along, ask me use my talents assist him and Voltron Force. I assure him I will do so, since they all my friends. He ask me use my talents map out several approaches, pick best one. He feel caution more important than speed, but he ask my opinion anyway. I vote for caution too.
He then tell me Jeff speak with him earlier, try find me but catch me not, so he tell Hawkins he want me fly Voltron’s command module. Not only because I best pilot on team, but also so I can better use my psionic talents assist Voltron in battle. We will certainly need her when reach we Throk’s base! I describe how boost Voltron my psychic strength, how my trying tell other pilots truth hit snag of skepticism, how react Jeff and Cliff so wildly when tell I them Voltron life, that they will become one with her when awaken she.
Hawkins: "Well, I believe what you say about Voltron. Insane as it sounds, I do believe what you say about him - her, I mean."
I most startled. Last time mention I that to him, he think I nuts! Then again, I overhear someone say he have second thoughts. I say: "So you doubt me no more. I blame them not in way. This so far out, so removed from your normal experience, they find it hard believe. Those who accept their destiny take it quite well. Of course, all of them prepared for death, since they accept high-risk assignment. Wol say this merging like death because they will abandon their mortal forms for new immortal one - Voltron."
"I thought your talk about Voltron being alive was all wild ranting at first. Then I remembered the night the renegade Drules attacked, and you were running all over the ship screaming about an attack. I thought you were just delirious until Myers called me to the bridge and showed me the approaching fleet. If it hadn’t been for you, there would be no more Explorer, and probably by now no more Galaxy Alliance. I thought about how you detected that fleet with your clairvoyance, and I began to wonder if you weren’t telling it like it is when you talked about Voltron being a living entity rather than a mere mecha. There are legends about Voltron that suggest she really is alive, and there are even some old records that describe Voltron as female."
"I read disk on early history of Galaxy Alliance. It quote old passage about Voltron. Say much not, but call Voltron ‘she.’ I come across very little information about Voltron in disks I examine."
"It is odd that we can find so little about Voltron, even from records written in the early days of the Alliance when she was still fresh in everybody’s memory. Most of what we know about her has come to this generation as legend. We have no way of knowing where legend ends and truth begins. We have forgotten not only that Voltron is alive, but that she’s a she."
"Same thing happen to other Voltron. They forget much about her, even her gender, so when find pilots her parts hidden away, they know not she live, they know not they seal their destiny."
"I hear tell Lieutenant Myers gave you quite a start with one of her automatic drawings today."
"Yes. She draw perfect representation of that other Voltron."
"Myers has been shown to have above-average psionic potential."
"Above average - that understatement! She have tremendous potential for human being. I will teach her use that potential."
"I’m curious - how would the psionic potential of a human compare with that of a nagh-kaar riki?"
"How compare strength of your little friend Hardware with strength of Voltron?"
"I see what you mean. But back to our discussion. I need you to use your talents to find the safest route to the rogue Drule base. Mongo has supplied us with some charts the Drules made when they were exploring the area of the Galaxy we will soon enter. They will help some, but they’re all quite old, and vague in some areas, so your abilities are essential. Speed is important, for the sooner we can knock them out, the better. Then there’s the matter of exactly when Voltron is going to, as you say, awaken. Do you have any idea as to when that will happen?"
"Soon, I believe. I know not exactly when, but I can use my ability see into future estimate exactly when will-arouse she."
"You can see the future?"
"I see what perhaps come of present possibilities. When look I into future, I see many images, each potential possible future, but what see I definite not - only possible. Sometimes what see I what happen not. Occasionally see I trouble coming when expect I it not, alert me to something I notice before not. I can use it see approximately when will-awaken Voltron. I will use it find best route to rogue base as well."
"Maybe you could teach Lieutenant Myers to do the same thing. Then she’d be one hell of a navigator."
"I believe she have clairvoyant potential. If have she potential, she can see - ‘clairvoy’ - only small part of space, not nearly as far as I can scan, but I perhaps can train her use such power to great advantage for you."
Hawkins notice my wine glass empty. He offer me more, I reply: "No thank you. Too much wine make me giddy. I will need all my facilities guide you to Throk’s base - and find out when will-arise Voltron."
We discuss our plans further. Our talk become chat as discuss Hawkins and I various and sundry things, hobbies, friends, home life. Our talk continue for some time aster sate we our appetites. Finally retire he to his rest chamber.
I head for Voltron hangar see what futures await us. I perch on top of command module. I relax, open my mind wide. I follow timestream potentials as ramify they from present moment. I seek out time when will-rouse Voltron from her sleep. What see I most strange - time of her awakening in future not, but in past! She long ready awaken! Then why awake she already not? Or wait she for something? Perhaps she wait until Voltron Force learn of, accept their destiny. Yes! She wait until know they all what will become of them, for them acknowledge their fate. Lucky coincidence, they find that gate! Mind-blowing! That what love I about life, so much blow your mind!
She wait, not only for them all know - and accept - she wait for Rocky recover. Sooner get he well, sooner convince I all members of team their destiny with Voltron, sooner she ready. Sooner she can take care of Throk and his gang, restore peace to galaxy. Now I will know exactly when she will awaken.

Part 2, Pilots of Purple Twilight

Next morning, ship time, I tell Hawkins what learn I. He assure me Rocky well on his way to recovery. I tell him as soon as Rocky ready leave hospital, he best come aboard Explorer not only so I can heal him rest of way but also because he need meet his destiny with rest of Voltron Force. Hawkins assure me he will arrange that. My duty now help guide Explorer to enemy base.
Entire Voltron team take off, I fly command module, Jeff in strato-weapons module. I heat out scan possible routes for Explorer while watch others for trouble. Throk and company will want us after them not, and Drule renegades have many allies who long for return of Drule Empire - with Throk as its ruler - and fall of Galaxy Alliance!
I scan one promising route, it take us dangerously close to planet that have strong sympathies for Throk. I scan another, this one quick but in many places my possibilities vision show me battles. Many fleets of Throk’s allies lie in wait there. I try third route.
Four days I spend scanning. Night and day, without rest, I fly in space, return only refuel. One technician remark on how little fuel I use in my flight. That because I use mainly my own psionic ability - and Voltron’s - fly command module. Thus use I minimum fuel. I overhear one woman say: "We should have recruited Todadler a long time ago!" on one return trip.
Whilst scan I, Explorer crew prepare for long trip. Many smaller ships will escort Explorer in her journey through unknown space protect her, carry supplies. In unexplored space we will need plenty support fleet, no bases stop at for repairs or restocking. This Explorer’s most dangerous mission ever, her most important - and her strangest.
In end find I no truly safe route. Each one have many dangers. I decide least dangerous route first one I scan. We pass close to two Drule allies who favor Viceroy Throk, hate Hazar’s followers. We travel through much unknown space, past other places of potential trouble. But I feel that best route for us take. Besides, give me time heal Rocky and, I hope, convince rest of team they will merge with Voltron.
In meantime Rocky return to Explorer. Hospital people prefer he go home, but I assure them he in excellent hands on board this ship - mine. I tell him all about what happen since see I him last. He tell me he feel great, he believe what discover I about Voltron. I examine his body with my mind, find most of his injuries well over halfway healed. He will recover soon, I know. Soon he ready meet his destiny.
Some days after trip begin, I walk down corridor on stroll during off time, seizure suddenly disable me. My legs become weak, collapse. My eyes fog. I tremble violently as slump I against bulkhead. I salivate, blood ooze from my nose and gums. My hands stiffen, contract into fists. I curl into ball as race my mind, grab at images - most of them Voltron. I feel her presence. I feel sudden surge of psi energy, sensation which can human imagine not, for which your language have words not. Pain wrack my frame as struggle I regain control of not my body so much as my mind. I realize such surge powerful one indeed. Far too powerful for ordinary mortal mind unleash. Voltron! Something touch it off! I remember time I have dream of rogue Drule attack when try they destroy Explorer. I realize something get Voltron upset. She sense something out there, unconsciously, it rile her slumbering mind, cause this surge energy. I wonder why sense I such things in Lion Voltron not. Because, before my experiment, I attuned to her lifeforce not.
My experiment! Voltron’s essence!
That what really disable me - trace of Lion Voltron’s essence in my system. Vehicle Voltron’s psi surge activate power of essence, cause my seizure! Now that know I cause of this loss-of-control, I can fight it more effectively. In seconds my mind clear, my body cease tremble. Pain flow away, strength return. I continue my stroll. I notice discoloration on floor and bulkhead where dribble I on them. That problem for maintenance crew.
I soon pick-up new surge of energy, this one much weaker but in its own way just as intense. Human minds. I sense Cliff, Jeff, Hawkins nearby. I tune in my clairaudience.
Cliff: "Have you gone off the beam, Commander? I’m telling you that Todadler is stark raving mad! How can you possibly believe her? You should never have let her into your quarters! No telling what she’ll do next!" I glad he see me in corridor not, that convince him I mad.
Hawkins: "I know what she says about Voltron sounds crazy, but I believe her. You mustn’t forget she isn’t human. Or of any other known race in this Galaxy, for that matter. If you or someone else in the Voltron Force started saying something like that, I would conclude that he or she had gone off the deep end. But Todadler has senses beyond our own, as we learned when she saw that enemy fleet approaching us long before it was in range of our scanners. She has also located Viceroy Throk’s secret base using only her mind."
Cliff: "How do you know she really is leading us to their base, and not on some wild comet chase?"
Hawkins: "We just have to trust her. I am confident that she really has found the renegades’ headquarters. Mongo’s charts have provided me with data that support Todadler’s claims as to its location. I have studied the records of Drule exploration in that region of the Universe, and I believe that Throk, Kezor and the others did decide to hide their main base there. Also, there are a number of planets with pro-Throk sympathies between us and what we are certain is the location of that base. It’s not only remote, but also secure behind a front line of planets that will fight us."
Cliff: "I say we should lock up Todadler for our own safety. Or at least get her the hell off the Explorer!"
Jeff: "I don’t like her around here anymore than you do. But we need her to find that base and to look out for trouble - and to form Voltron. As long as Rocky is on the injured list, we need her."
Cliff: "And as soon as Rocky gets better, get her off the team!"
Jeff: "No! She makes Voltron stronger. We’ll need all the help we can get when we take on the full force of Kezor’s fleets. The council of Galaxy Garrison has given us direct orders to keep Todadler aboard the Explorer - and in Voltron Force. They at least recognize the value of her unique abilities. I don’t cotton at all to her ranting about Voltron being alive, but as long as we need her, we’ll just have to put up with her eccentricities. I at least have asked her to shut up about this Voltron business, and so far I haven’t heard anymore of it. Todadler may or may not be crazy, but one thing is certain: We need her to stop Viceroy Throk."
I head for my quarters rest. I steel my mind in case in future I have attacks like what suffer I earlier. I lucky that time - nobody see me. But fact that happen concern me. Something going on!
Just then hear I alarm. Hawkins and I called to bridge! I run to bridge, arrive in moments. Hawkins see me, say: "Todadler, that certainly was quick! An enemy fleet is approaching the Explorer. I want you to find out what you can about it - how many ships, and if they have a robeast. Join the rest of Voltron Force at the launch area. Remember, Jeff is still in command - all you are to do right now is ascertain the strength of their fleet."
I salute him, run to hangar. Even with my macaw legs I run more swiftly than any human. I use my wings for balance around corners. Some corridors so wide I fly down them, startle many crew members. I soon at launch area with others. We ride to our vehicles, soon launch we. I attune my mind find enemy fleet, I locate it. Couple hundred ships. I scan for robeast, but these robeasts harder find than those Lion Voltron fight. Her opponents partly biological, but Drule robeasts wholly mechanical, harder pick out. I find something I suspect robeast, tell Hawkins.
We wait, watch as approach rogues us. I soon see them. Some designs I recognize not, decide they ships of Throk’s non-Drule sympathizers. They out for power. You want power, fools, think I? We will show you meaning of power - Voltron power!
Soon start enemy ships fire on us. We return complement. Teams unite form team fighter craft. We really lay it on! We blast enemy ships right and left as guide I strato-fighter to where it most effective. I expand my mind through ship, latch onto lifeforce of Voltron. I flow with her, with power of strato-fighter as lash we our lasers against foe. I feel as though I and strato-fighter one. I guide ship, fire by pure instinct. I rely less on eyes than on teletaxis and telekinesis. We zip in and out of rogue fleet as vanish their ships in multicolored flashes, flames lick at space until dissipate oxygen. I guide us near where suspect I they have robeast.
Then I sense it in all its terrible glory! They launch their big gun at last! I sense it well before see I it. I call on radio: "Jeff! We have company!"
Jeff: "I see it, Todadler! Well, folks, let’s give ‘em a warm welcome! Air team separate!"
Modules unlink, fly apart. Other two teams break up. Then we fly into formation for main attraction! I feel tremendous surge as lock Voltron’s modules together. She ready kick some ass, yes!
Robeast fire missiles at us. I see that coming before launch they. Voltron dodge, fire all her main laser batteries at it. She do some damage, but not enough. I ease my spirit into flow of her lifeforce stimulate her psi powers. Together locate we weak point of robeast. But first need we weaken it so we can hit that soft spot.
I call: "Jeff!" I wonder: Use I radio, or touch I his mind via telepathy? "Let Todadler call shots! Todadler latch onto Voltron’s power, know which weapons best use against robeast." He reply: "All right, Todadler! Go for it!"
I concentrate on robeast. It have six taloned arms waiting grab Voltron, claw her. "Spinning laser blades!" Voltron form her whirling blades of energy, throw them. Telekinetically will I them cut off robeast’s claws. I cut off three arms, then robeast dodge us. I guide laser blades back towards it, but I merely wing it. I damage fourth arm, but it still have two good arms left.
Voltron will show you thing or two, buddy, think I as retrieve warrior her whirlers. "Laser whip!" Long ray, like glowing rope of energy, arc out towards its target. Voltron entangle two of her opponent’s arms. Then she blast at it with wing-beams. Robeast try break loose. Voltron tear out two arms she entangle.
Now for coup de grace! "Form blazing sword!" Voltron charge, sword to fore. I guide it straight towards robeast’s heart. It fire away at us with its lasers, but Voltron withstand barrage. We suffer some jolts, but she keep on course. Sword bite into robeast’s body, slice through its most vital parts. We quickly retreat. Robeast explode into space dust. I feel surge in her life field. Victory feeling! I feel surges just like it in Lion Voltron. I feel as though I Voltron myself, I can feel Blazing Sword in my hand!
I feel strange tingling in my hands as slowly bring I myself out of my trance, back to my normal consciousness. I detach myself from Voltron’s lifefield. Tingling in my hands feel stronger. I look at them, hiss in unpleasant surprise - they become Lionheads!
We disassemble, head for home. I wait in Command Module until for my hands return to normal. I wait long time. I will them return to human-like, black leathery hands. Finally come I out of command module. Jeff ask me why take I so long come out, I explain using my psi skills help Voltron in that battle wear me out. I use my psi powers so much lately, I tired. Jeff tell me he see Voltron do so well in battle never. I explain my heightened psi powers when I part of Voltron give me ability guide her in battle, find best way overcome foe, hit its weakest points. Jeff ask me how contact I him when his radio off, so I explain my telepathy. He then tell me go to my quarters and rest so I can better use my psi powers next time.
We really give renegade Drules and their confederates surprise that time! They think they know strength of Voltron, but they know her true strength not! I unleash it, force her unleash it, in that battle. She, like Lion Voltron, pull her punches during her long sleep. She reveal her true strength not until awaken she.
As lie I on my bed, I realize I give Jeff line not. I tax my psionics these last few days, our battle take my psyche to point of psi exhaustion. That why turn my hands into Lionheads! Warning for me pull back, rest my mind before try I any more psychic tricks. Jeff, I know, will tell Hawkins I need rest.
I decide sleep best medicine. I shut down my mind, relax my body. I soon sink into blessed oblivion, deep, dreamless sleep. I quickly pass into deepest level of sleep - ability all nagh-kaar rikani share, reduce amount of sleep we need.
I sleep for long time. For me, normally two or three hours enough, sometimes for entire week. But I sleep long, deep this time. I need sleep, I need total shutdown of my mind. I sleep all of eleven hours!
I go at once to lounge. Hutch greet me with: "Todadler! Where have you been?" Ginger chime in with: "You’re usually the first one up and about. We were all starting to wonder what you were up to."
"Todadler sleep long time, she very tired. She very hungry, also."
I eat breakfast with others. Usually sate I my appetite with small meal at lunchtime or dinner, but today I hungry in morning. I devour large breakfast. Lisa watch me, say: "I’ve never seen Todadler eat like that! She usually eats like a bird."
Murdoch: "That’s because she’s half bird."
Zandee: "Actually, gram for gram birds eat a lot more than we do. But right now Todadler’s out-eating even Rocky."
Jeff look at me, say: "She needs it. She’s been busting her brains for the last couple weeks, first hunting for Throk’s base, then seeking the best way to get there, then helping Voltron trash that robeast. I’ve asked Commander Hawkins to give her a break before she suffers mental fatigue. We need her help, and she’s no good to us if she can’t use her powers to their fullest."
After breakfast, Chip tell me I eat more at one sitting than Rocky eat in one day. I feel stuffed. I tell him: "Todadler so hungry when sit-down she, feel as though she can eat robeast!"
Chip: "I wonder what Voltron eats."
"Transformers and Go-Bots."
"What are they?"
"Toy robots popular in my home dimension. They save Universe not, they just overpopulate it with junk."
"I wonder what it’s really going to be like when I am Voltron."
"I believe you will like it. My other friends, they happy once become they one with their Voltron. Scary experience for them, but they get through. They must, of course - they have no other choice. Once merge you for last time, everything fine. Voltron will absorb your personality into hers, so you will live on, but as Voltron."
Shannon: "Aw, can that wild Voltron garbage! Canna you see you’re frightening the poor wee lad?"
Chip: "I’m not frightened! I think it’s gonna be neat when we turn into Voltron."
"Donna tell me a lad of your intelligence really believes that haver!"
"I believe her! And I wouldn’t call that stuff she says about Voltron ‘haver,’ either!" We turn around, see Marvin, one of three in whom sense I possible change of heart when see we Myers’ automatic drawing of Lion Voltron. Yes, we have new convert!
Cliff: "Not you, Marvin!
"Yes, me! Cliff, I really think you should listen to Todadler. If what she says is true, we should be preparing ourselves for our destiny. What if we are unprepared when we do start merging--"
Jeff: "I don’t want to hear anymore of that!"
Cric: "But Jeff, you said only that you didn’t want to hear it from Todadler! You didn’t say anything about the rest of us!"
Jeff: "Then I don’t want to hear another word of this crazy Voltron crap from anybody! Ever again!"
Cliff: "I second the motion!
Cric give them both dirty look. Now know I for certain he accept his destiny!
Cinda wait until Jeff and Cliff out of range, say: "Todadler, I know you’re right about Voltron. I just know it. I feel sorry for Cliff and Jeff and Shannon and the others who don’t believe you, since it’s going to be harder on them when Voltron does awaken." Aha - she acceptor, too! Now have we eight!
I reply: "Voltron already about awaken. She wait for them accept their destiny. As long as believe they not, they ready not, she ready not."
Hutch: "You mean Cliff and the others are holding up the process?"
"Yes."
Wol: "Then we’ve got to convince them before we reach Throk’s base. Otherwise we won’t have Voltron - the real Voltron."
Lisa: "At least we have Todadler."
"No. Only Voltron in her full power can destroy rogue Drules. She must awaken before then. Even I can unleash her full power not. I can loosen her hold on her powers some, make her use some of her hidden power, but only she can use her entire potential."
Wol: "So that dratted Jeff is preventing Voltron from awakening!"
Chip: "At least Commander Hawkins believes you."
Hutch: "Fat lot of good that dues us! He isn’t a Voltron pilot."
Marvin: "Maybe we should kick Jeff and Cliff and the others who don’t believe you off the team and replace them with people who do trust Todadler."
I reply: "That will work not. You Voltron pilots ones who destined become one with her. You fly her modules for long time, your essence become part of her life-matrix. New pilots take too long time replace matrices of original pilots. Impossible if original pilots still alive. We must convince them of their destiny. That only way."
"I thought you guys were told to shut the hell up about that nonsense!" Cliff suddenly pop up behind us! I growl loudly at him. He give me dirty look, say: "OK, mystery lady, ya wanna fight over this?" He roll up sleeves. I assume defensive stance, ready use throw in case jump he me.
Cinda yell: "Cliff! Don’t be such an idiot! You don’t have any more chance against Todadler than a toy robot against Voltron! She’ll tear you to pieces!"
Cliff: "Shut up, dammit! This is between me and her!"
I sense strong anger from him. Others around us broadcast nervousness, great consternation. They fear for Cliff, they know of my superhuman strength, clawed feet, sharp teeth. Atmosphere in lounge most tense.
"CLIFF! What the hell’s this all about?" Jeff come running. "You cut that out this second! You don’t stand a chance against Todadler! Besides, where did you ever get the idea that trying to clobber her would solve anything?"
"She was babbling about that Voltron-lives codswallop again!"
"That’s her business!"
"I thought I heard you telling her to shut up about that!"
"If other members of the team want to talk about it among themselves, that’s fine with me. I just don’t want it in my ear."
"Well, it was sure the hell in my ear!"
"You could very easily have sat somewhere else, Cliff. Besides, it’s rude to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations."
Cliff back down. I feel his anger subside, sense shame. I perch on back of seat where sit I before. I watch until Cliff out of range. Cinda say: "That Cliff sure has some temper."
Lisa: "He sure has a lot of nerve, trying to pick a fight with Todadler. I can’t bear to think what would have happened to him if they had come to blows."
I say: "More like throws. Against fragile beings such as you I use nonviolent methods. I know many Aikido moves, I use them discourage attackers when wish I harm them not. Cliff get hurt not, but he end up on floor, if go he after me."
I take my toy Voltron, roll it up Cric’s back. He say: "Look! Voltron’s giving me a back rub!" I pick-up strong pleasure from him, so he enjoy it much. I roll toy up his spine second time. "You like it, yes?"
We play with my little friend for while. We take it apart, assemble teams, "fly" them around lounge. I land strato-fighter on Hutch’s head, he say: "My head ain’t no landing pad!"
Hawkins come along, see us at play, smile. We then zoom around him, run fighters up his back. I say: "Oh no! Giant robeast! Form we Voltron!" We disassemble fighters, put Voltron toy back together. Hawkins play along, say: "Help! It’s Voltron! I’m getting out of here!" I then roll it up his spine.
Cric laugh, say: "Commander Hawkins, did you know Voltron gives great back rubs?"
Hawkins: "I do now." By this time toy Voltron at his neck. I perch it on one of his shoulders. He take it, look at it, say: "That’s really a remarkable model of Voltron, considering it was made in a parallel dimension where all they know of her is that she’s a cartoon character. There are some differences in detail, but as a whole it’s an excellent reproduction.
"Speaking of Voltron, I came here because I want the entire Voltron team to assemble in the planning room in twenty minutes."
We continue our chat, then head for meeting room. I walk with others, among seven who give credence to me. Then Rocky come along, one arm still in sling. I promise him in twenty-four hours that arm out.
While make we our way, I slip down side corridor that I know connect further ahead. I at intersection before my friends. They wonder where go I, then suddenly burst I out with blood-freezing "BOO!" Hutch and Lisa end up on floor! Then everybody laugh. Cinda quip: "They don’t call you the Queen of Nightmares for nothing - you are a fright!"
Jeff: "If you thought that was clever, you ought to hear about the sort of stuff we’ve pulled on each other. And on Commander Hawkins and Captain Newley!"
I reply: "That only prank in my repertoire not, Jeff. I know many."
In planning room Hawkins tell us: "We are about to reach a critical point in our voyage. Shortly we will be out of communication range with Galaxy Garrison, meaning that we will be totally on our own. We are already in what is to the Alliance unknown space, so we are effectively flying blind. We have only the sketchy knowledge of these regions provided by Mongo’s old charts and Todadler’s psychic talents to guide us. I realize Todadler’s powers are not limitless, and that she must rest them as we need to rest our minds and bodies, so I will not ask her to use them more often than is necessary.
"Only Viceroy Throk and his cronies know exactly what lies between us and their secret base. We must be prepared for anything. An enemy attack could come at any time. Because we don’t know what lies ahead and will be out of touch with Galaxy Garrison, we cannot make any definite plans - we’ll have to play it by ear. Todadler, I need you to do your best to keep us on course for the base and to look out for danger. If you do feel mentally exhausted, get plenty of rest. We can make do with our scanners and scouts and Mongo’s charts until you are ready to use your psionic skills again.
"Jeff, you and the rest of Voltron Force are from now on to be battle ready at all times. Try to relax and have some fun, but be ready to scramble at any second. We could even have another ‘night’ attack like the first one.
"We are entirely on our own, not only because we will be out of contact with Alliance headquarters, but also because they cannot send us any reinforcements or supplies. We have more than enough supplies to sustain us for the duration of this trip, but our firepower is limited. We’re certain to need Voltron many times. Therefore, Todadler, I suggest you reserve enough of your psionic strength so you can help Voltron fight. Nobody can make her fight the way you do. Also, all of you in Voltron Force need to prepare for when you will merge with Voltron."
Cliff: "Hawkins! Have you lost your bloody mind? I can’t believe you still take this Voltron rubbish seriously!"
Hawkins: "I will not tolerate any more outbursts like that! Cliff, I understand you almost brawled with Todadler earlier this morning. I don’t know what’s come over you - I’ve never had any discipline problems with you before. I sincerely believe Todadler’s ideas about Voltron, for I have uncovered evidence, if not proof, that what she says is true. After all, we ourselves cannot prove that Voltron really is just a bunch of hardware. She may indeed have powers which we are incapable of loosing by ourselves."
Cric: "Todadler says that only when Voltron awakens will she be able to use her full power."
Chip: "And Jeff and Cliff and the rests who don’t accept it are actually interfering with the process. Todadler says Voltron’s waiting for them."
Hawkins: "If the last couple battles have been any indication, we will need Voltron’s full strength to defeat Throk’s forces. Therefore, Jeff, Cliff, Ginger, Shannon, Tagor, Murdoch, Zandee, you have got to put credence in Todadler. I know what she says sounds totally ludicrous, and were it coming from one of you or some crew member, I would never believe it. But Todadler possesses hyper-awareness, and she can detect things that are intangible to us. I know in my heart that what she says about Voltron is true."
Jeff: "Commander Hawkins, I can’t believe you! I know you’re the commander, but you can’t order us to believe something we know isn’t true!"
Cric: "It is true! I just know it is!"
Cinda: "Yes! Todadler must be telling the truth when she says that Voltron is alive, and that we’re going to merge wit her! What motivation would she have to make up a story like that?"
Tagor: "I think you guys have been hypnotized by that creature!"
Hawkins: "You’re out of order! We’re not here to fight over the true nature of Voltron. We’re here to prepare ourselves for what’s ahead, and what’s ahead is a lot of tough going. We will be isolated from the Alliance, in space that is crawling with enemies, and we can’t afford to wear ourselves out with such arguing. If Voltron is indeed alive, and if she is waiting for all of you to accept your collective destiny, then you must find it in your hearts to believe Todadler before we reach the enemy base."
Lisa: "Maybe if Todadler can’t convince us, Voltron will have to do something."
Cinda: "Maybe she already has. Maybe she somehow arranged for Todadler to be brought into our dimension."
I say: "That possible. She have great unconscious powers. She perhaps guide you, subtly, to planet where find you gateway."
Hawkins: "That I don’t believe. I see you as a lucky accident, who came along just in time to help us against Throk and his gang."
"That perhaps truth. Perhaps dumb luck what bring me here."
Hawkins: "Anyway, the point of this meeting is to let you know we’re not going to have an easy time from now on. Until we destroy Throk’s secret base, we cannot relax. We’ll need to conserve every bit of firepower we can, and we need to stay on full alert. In less than an hour we will be completely cut off from the rest of the Alliance. Todadler, we’re counting on you to get us through - both as a navigator and as a Voltron pilot. I just hope Voltron does awaken in time for us to stop Throk. Dismissed."
As we leave, I overhear Cliff say: "I’ve had it up to here with this damned Voltron baloney. I can’t believe even the Commander has fallen for it!"
Tagor: "I know! Lisa and Cric have been after me about it, too. I wish they’d just lay off of it!"
Murdoch: "I don’t know. Maybe Todadler is telling the truth. Maybe Voltron really is alive. Maybe we are destined to turn into her."
Zandee: "Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for it, too!"
Murdoch: "I wouldn’t say that! I thought it was pretty far out when I first heard it, but I’ve been thinking about what Todadler says a lot lately. She did make Voltron stronger in that battle with the six-armed robeast. Something in me hopes that what she says is the truth. I think to actually become one with Voltron would be pretty exciting."
Tagor: "I think she’s gotten to you just as she has Commander Hawkins and half of Voltron Force."
Ginger: "I  wonder what it is about these people who believe in all that baloney. How anybody could think Voltron’s alive, and that we’re all going to merge with the vehicles and then turn into him is beyond me. Not that I would mind being a fighter plane, or Voltron for that matter, but it’s all pure fantasy."
Cric: "I don’t think it’s pure fantasy! I’m certain Todadler is telling the truth."
Zandee: "I’d sure like to know how you folks got the idea Todadler is telling the truth and not just babbling a bunch of wild flying garbage. I thought we were all intelligent people. How can people as smart as we are fall for such a ridiculous idea?"
Jeff: "I don’t know, Zandee. What really pisses me off is that Hawkins has fallen for it, too - and he wants us to believe in it!"
Chip: "That’s because he knows what’s best for us! If you and Cliff and the others refuse to accept it, Voltron will never awaken in time!"
Shannon: "Maybe we should believe, just to humor Todadler and Hawkins if for no other reason. No harm in that. If we believe and nothing happens, no harm done, except maybe to our self-respect. If we believe and we do merge with Voltron, all the better."
"So we have four more acceptors," say Myers as gather we in her quarters. Rocky there, too. As promise I, his arm out of sling. Arm still weak, but soon he in shape fly strato-weapons module again.
Cric: "What we need now is seven more acceptors."
Rocky: "I think Cliff’s gonna be the last one. Just mention Todadler around him an’ he goes bananas!"
Marvin: "Which could mean he’ll be the next one, too. Sometimes the firmest opponents of an idea become its best supporters in the end."
Wol: "Jeff and Ginger don’t look as if they’re going to budge a millimeter. But sometimes, when enough people go for something, the rest fall in. The only trouble is, Jeff told us not to talk to him about it, or talk about it in front of him. I haven’t been able to make much headway with Ginger, either."
Lisa: "I have a feeling the rest of Sea Team will join us soon. Shannon’s still skeptical, but he isn’t nearly as negative as he used to be. Cric and I have been talking with Tagor and Zandee a lot lately."
Cinda: "Hutch and I can’t do a thing with the rest of Land Team. Cliff is a hopeless case right now, and Murdoch isn’t listening. We might be getting to him and not know it, though."
Marvin: "I overheard Murdoch talking when we were leaving the conference room yesterday, and he sounded as if me might soon be the ninth convert. Maybe if we can get him into our camp, then we’ll be able to win Cliff over."
Cric: "Speaking of Cliff, he wants Todadler off the Voltron Force as soon as Rocky recovers. But Jeff at least won’t hear of that anymore than he’ll hear of Voltron being alive."
Myers: "Jeff has always had very good sense. At least he recognizes the value of Todadler to us. Cliff’s just getting all emotional and letting his passion cloud his thinking. Perhaps it’s a reaction against the knowledge of his destiny. Perhaps in his heart he acknowledges that he is doomed to merge with Voltron, and he doesn’t want to accept that as his fate. He wants to live out his life as a human being. He views Voltron as a robot, not a person. Who wants to be a robot - a mere machine? We all know that isn’t the case with Voltron, but he and Jeff and the others don’t, or won’t, admit it."
Chip: "What if we’re about to hit Throk’s base and they still don’t believe, but we need Voltron’s full strength to stop them?"
I say: "Possible she awaken anyway. I believe I know now reason other Voltron rouse not until after discover I her secret - perhaps because wait she for her pilots learn of their destiny, prepare themselves meet it. This Voltron do same - she wait not just for Rocky heal, but for all of you accept your destiny. Perhaps if know she - unconsciously - only way defeat Viceroy Throk awaken even when some ready not, she will absorb you into her modules, but harder on all of you, harder on her. Cliff in fact do you great disfavor with his doubt. I must find way prove once and for all Voltron live."
Next couple days quiet ones. I apply my psionics to finding safe passage through space, look for enemy activity. I fill in gaps where help Mongo’s charts not, or uncertain - and those gaps many, big. Rest of Voltron Force try take it easy, though they know attack come at any time. Whole ship tense. Hawkins spread out duty time so plenty people on duty at all times, but everyone get plenty rest.
I conserve psi energy so as have enough lest need we Voltron, for help her in battle - without help of other pilots - require tremendous output of will. Those who trust me, I teach them let their life fields flow with mine, so when form we Voltron we will all flow together. At least those who will listen to me will. Perhaps if flow we eight - or nine, when recover Rocky enough fly - through Voltron, we will convince at least some of others, perhaps all of them.
Once our flow-experiment cause consternation on bridge. Hawkins discover mysterious energy in Myers’ quarters, send security check it out. They give us scare bigger than we give them! Most dangerous situation - I try come out of trance and harm my friends not, explain what commence. Finally I able link Cric and Marvin, who next to me in circle, tell our visitors what do we after Myers manage hold them off. Then I rejoin circle, we continue soul-flow practice. After that bridge know what expect when see they such energy-fluxes again.
I heal Rocky each day after breakfast. His injuries mend quickly, soon pronounce doctor him action-ready. Jeff then tell me. I will fly command module while stay he aboard Explorer. I will lead Voltron from now on, use my powers make her strong. I assure him I will do good job leading Voltron Force into battle. We will show Throk and his rogues of what Voltron made!
This mean Jeff with us next time not. Perhaps, if win-over our life flow rest of doubters, we will together convince him.
We near planet where detect I enemy base. I suggest we take-out it before give it us any trouble. Hawkins uncertain about my strategy, but Jeff like my idea. I assure them I can use my powers and Voltron’s blast them to bits before know they we there.
Voltron force take off. We unite as command I, so I have Voltron’s full power ready. I need it, for I need tremendous psi energy make Voltron invisible to their scanners. We fly towards planet - long flight, but we have more than enough fuel. For they have me.
We approach base. I expand my mind through Voltron, touch onto minds of acceptors. We flow together, we feel Voltron’s own soul! I sense excitement in those flowing with me. Now have they proof! I feel others in Voltron, those who accept their destiny not. I try latch onto their minds. We flow through them in hopes of getting through to them. I touch onto their minds, sense resistance but I flow through them, we all flow through them. I try open channels in their minds let Voltron’s own essence flow into them. They have it in them, but they aware of it not. Perhaps I can stimulate it so they will realize what Voltron all about, or at least acknowledge it.
Now face we enemy! I sense great surprise, as they detect us not! We blast away with lasers reduce several buildings to rubble in minutes. Fighter ships scream at us like angry blue jays, we make scrap metal out of them. We hit them hard, we hit them fast. Laser whip, spinning laser blades, Voltron’s sheer strength and mass quickly destroy power of enemy. I see people of several races: few Drules, but many canine-looking people, ebony-skinned midgets, large yellow-white centaurs, even some humans and some of Cric’s and Wol’s races! Mercenaries, or just plain renegades. They run wild, Voltron terrify them so. I sense intense fear. Some flee in cowardice, but some fight with great courage. We smash our way across base, blast anything and anyone that perhaps threaten Explorer. Soon nothing left but--
Suddenly appear robeast! Four times as massive as Voltron, look most nasty! Huge mechanical monster stride towards us on four great legs. Heavy body, three arms, several long tentacles. It fire powerful lasers at us as approach it. We dodge some, but Voltron get hit.
Then it launch missiles at us. One hit Voltron in face, I feel sting as if I hit in my own face. But she recover quickly. It fire more missiles, we jump. I will her to one side of robeast so I can better size up our opponent. Those tentacles look like bad news.
"Spinning laser blades!" Voltron hurl her fiery wheels, but when hit they tentacles, they bounce right off! I focus my attention on robeast’s weak places. Its most vulnerable place underneath, between its four legs. But first we need get to that weak spot.
Voltron take off. Perhaps if follow robeast her into air she can get at its Achilles heel. Robeast leap after us. Voltron lead it high into air, loop around her opponent. But robeast keep its underside away from her. This sucker not only tough, but smart!
"Solar combat spears!" Voltron form these weapons, hurl two at robeast. It deflect them both with its super-tentacles. Voltron form two more spears, link them into one long shaft. She close in for kill. Then it grab spear with tentacle, Voltron lose her grip on weapon, it fall. Robeast then grab us with its tentacles in death squeeze!
Powerful energy arc through Voltron. My companions briefly incapacitated, but I withstand shock easily. I reach out my mind to my companions, call upon all my will. Flow together! Flow together! I flow all through Voltron, all through my companions, we pool our will. I see way take this robeast for ride. You like rough? think I. Two can play at this game!
We dive towards planet. Our landing far from gentle, but we well protected from shock of impact. Voltron grab tentacles still clinging to her, swing robeast in circle. Then she smash it against large rock formation. Robeast let go of us. I see two of its tentacles damaged. Voltron jump away from robeast as plan I next move. Our opponent damaged, but it still have plenty fight in it.
Robeast start get up. I scan its legs. Voltron notice weakness in them! We form spinning laser blades again. Voltron hurl them, I will them towards its legs as watch I those tentacles. Only three rise up stop blades. I will one blade in front of robeast distract it, other around to back, then into one of rear legs. Blade cut through knee joint of leg. Robeast fall back. Then other blade slice into front leg. I will second blade slice into other front leg. Now robeast have but one good leg.
Lasers lash at us again. Voltron respond with her own lasers. I notice one tentacle start come loose. "Laser whip!" Shimmering rope snap at robeast, snag loose tentacle while flail three others madly at it. With mighty tug Voltron yank it loose. Now have robeast vulnerable spot in torso. Voltron snap her whip again, lasso second tentacle. Robeast cut loose with volley laser fire that rattle even Voltron. Pulses pound against her skin like hail on roof. Voltron respond with powerful yank that divest robeast of another tentacle. Two of four remaining wave angrily at us.
"Solar combat spears!" Then I remember Voltron drop one during battle. She find it, grab her weapon as continue robeast assail her with lasers. Spear gleam in her hand as come its energy to life. She hurl it with deadly strength and accuracy, right into hole left by one gone tentacle. Spear come out other side. Robeast in trouble now! Suddenly stop laser barrage.
"Form Blazing Sword!" Voltron form her greatest weapon. She rush at robeast, sword raised high. Robeast lash at her with two tentacles, she dodge them. Then she come down strike. Suddenly grab one tentacle sword. Voltron fall off balance, land on her front. Sword go flying.
Voltron roll over as crawl robeast towards her. One tentacle grab her by ankle. Voltron try grab sword, miss. Time get rid of those damned tentacles! We fire all Voltron’s lasers, concentrate on base of tentacle that grab us. With my telekinesis and Voltron’s will make barrage sure and strong, salvo blast chunk out of robeast. Voltron soon loose. She scramble for sword, but other tentacle grab both her feet!
Get that sword! I focus on sword. Voltron drag herself towards it as reach out she for her weapon. Robeast pull back, try stop her. Voltron almost reach hilt. I latch onto Voltron’s own psi potential, will sword move. It scoot right into her hand. She then twist around, fling sword right through robeast. Its grip on her loosen. Voltron pull her sword free, leap away as explode robeast.
I feel exhausted. Some fight! I call upon my full psi resources defeat that ambulatory junkyard. I feel fatigue in - Voltron herself! Fight tucker her out, too. I exhausted psychically as she exhausted physically.
Seeing defeat of robeast, rest of enemy retreat. We destroy what little remain of base, return to Explorer. I ride my seat out of command module, return to launch area, immediately collapse I onto floor. I rise, try stand-up. Suddenly feel I tingling, so intense it almost painful, throughout my body. I feel dizzy, my mind shift out of phase with my surroundings. I then sense shock, even fear, around me. I realize my body change right in front of my friends! My vision clear - I start become like Lion Voltron! I manage summon will return to my normal shape. Head, hands, feet revert to natural form. Then I collapse completely.
Jeff call for medics. They wheel me to sick bay, where place orderlies me on bed. I rest there for long while, gather my physical and psychic strengths as ponder I what happen.
Essence again! My link with Voltron so intense, I actually become her in that battle, as never before - as never with Lion Voltron! That time feel I weapons in my hands, sting of lasers, pressure of robeast tentacles when seize they us - her - me. Essence of other Voltron give me psi power necessary for such intimate merge, but because call I upon it - unconsciously - I also stimulate its latent energy. I get warning before, time my hands turn into Lionheads. I realize, someday I must purge myself of rest of that essence. But for now I will need keep it under control, prevent it from surfacing like that.
Then I realize I perhaps have way prove Vehicle Voltron alive! Essence! Yes - essence! Previous reactions uncontrolled, unasked-for, have unpleasant results, but I can harness energy of essence reaction, I can control it if limit I amounts of essence that mix. Yes! I have key unlock minds of doubters! I can prove Voltron live, risk Explorer and her crew not!
I feel better, so I get up see what do my friends. I go to lounge, where hear I heated argument.
Shannon: "I’m telling you, I felt it! I actually felt Voltron’s living soul!"
Zandee: "Now I do believe what Todadler says! I had my doubts, Cliff, but now there’s no way I can’t accept what she claims about Voltron. I did feel Voltron’s lifeforce pulsing through me, and so did you!"
Cliff: "Will you shut the hell up! I’ve had it up to my eyebrows with you guys!"
Marvin: "Cliff! Can’t you see what you’re doing? As long as you refuse to accept your destiny, you’re preventing Voltron from awakening! You’ve got to believe! It’s the only way she can come back to life before we hit Throk and his gang."
Cliff: "You shut your trap - that is, if you prefer that you and your teeth remain in the same general area!"
Ginger: "I think Todadler has mesmerized you folks! I think that was all just one of her psychic tricks!"
Zandee: "It wasn’t a trick, Ginger! It was real! I was just as doubtful as you are, but I can’t doubt it anymore - Voltron is so alive!"
Aha! We win three more! Now have we only four holdouts, at most. They all - except Jeff, of course - feel that soul, but three, especially Cliff, deny it! Three who doubt up until now realize what say I real, everyone else, their belief confirmed. But why stick those last four to their guns of doubt? I understand why believe Jeff still not, since he in on this battle not; but why Cliff and Ginger? And what about Tagor? If feel they lifeforce too, how can they deny it? Defiant to end. I can understand Cliff’s stubbornness, but why Ginger? She seem stubborn not. But she stubborn about Voltron.
Jeff enter area, say: "What’s this all about?"
Tagor: "The other pilots claim they felt Voltron’s living soul flowing through them during the battle with the robeast. Now everyone’s gone crazy - except for you and me and Cliff and Ginger."
Jeff: "Felt Voltron’s soul?"
Shannon: "Yes, Jeff, I certainly felt it! I was just as skeptical as you are until now. You ought to be part o’ the next mission, Jeff! It’s a wonderful feeling. I canna describe it, but it was a little like being in a nice warm current in the ocean. Once you feel Voltron’s lifeforce, you realize she really is a living lassie, and you really are a part of her. Besides, you saw what happened to her at the launching area earlier today. That shows she really has some part of that other Voltron in her. She may have some strange abilities, but that display was nae trick."
Jeff: "Next thing I know, everybody in this whole damned fleet is going to go bonkers!"
Murdoch: "I thought Todadler was pretty far off the beam, Jeff, but I tell you, once you feel that power flowing through you - it was as if I could feel Voltron’s heart beating! You won’t doubt Todadler in the least once you flow with Voltron’s very soul. I can’t believe Cliff, Tagor and Ginger still doubt that Voltron lives, because they must have felt it the same as everyone else. I wasn’t a believer going into this mission, though I had been thinking what if what Todadler said was true - but I am now!"
Jeff walk away. I sense something in him. Doubt - and confusion! Perhaps we will win him over soon! If become he believer, perhaps then last holdouts will abandon their old concept of Voltron! How much time have we?
I check Mongo’s space charts. We have about week ship time before we in range of Throk’s secret base. One week convince others! One week! But perhaps that all I need.
I think of idea I get earlier when I in sick bay. I decide explore that possibility. I will attack problem from several sides, one ought break through. Just one need do so, win over last four doubters. Or perhaps three. I sense Jeff start doubt his own thoughts. Perhaps we will soon have twelve who accept their fate, they will help me win over last three. Because Voltron need eleven not, twelve not, but fifteen!
In my quarters that evening I practice summoning Lion Voltron essence. I summon tiny traces of it, see how little at time I can call up. I control these traces, I make them flux and reach, I will them retract. I will essence up small amount at time, send it back into my soul. I practice for several hours before take I my rest.
My sleep interrupted by alarms. Explorer under attack! I shake myself awake, run towards launch area. Essence! think I. Perhaps that will solve my problem! Essence, which cause me no end of trouble, will end my troubles! I turn my mind to battle as ease my chair into place in command module.
We launch. I see large fleet. I feel it out, pick-up hundreds of ships. Very few of them Drule designs, most of them doubtless from other worlds, Throk sympathizers. From whatever world they hail, we’ll give ‘em ‘hail’!
We blast away with our individual ships at first, handle their small, yare fighters. Then we form team fighters hit them harder. We zoom through fleet, attack those ships that pose greatest threat to Explorer. Mother ship take considerable damage, but we make sure they shoot her down not. Enemy craft vanish in hail of our blasters. I feel Vehicle Voltron’s lifeforce flowing through me even now, tingle of Lion Voltron’s essence like just-poured root beer in my belly. I watch that essence carefully - it cause trouble before, I must avoid that ever happening again.
Then I sense something - robeast not, I know, but something big and nasty. I tell others about it. I soon locate it: gigantic mother ship! This one clearly come from world allied with Throk, as have it Drule markings not. Have smooth design, graceful curves, very aesthetic, somehow look like ship for cosmic warlords not. We decide get rid of it. I know it cause plenty trouble. I sense more ships inside, cruisers and fighters.
We blow away more of fleet, Explorer safe. For moment, anyway. Then I sense new wave approaching us. We decide greet them. Better yet, we will met them in their own territory - mother ship itself!
I shout: "Time for Voltron!" We go to it! Teams separate, then fifteen modules streak together, lock in as feet, legs, torso, arms, hands, head! I feel that life-current flowing through me, but I avoid close link lest get essence of other Voltron out of hand again. I latch onto Voltron’s slumbering mind, we charge! We seek out weakest points of giant mother ship, I guide her to them. We first destroy several cruisers coming out, then we roar inside. All hell break loose in there when see they Voltron! We soar through enormous hangar, soon find we our target: reactor rooms. Voltron plunge through bulkhead to reactors. She smash reactors, they start go out of control. With her Blazing Sword Voltron cut her way out of mother ship. She roar at her best speed - asleep, with me at controls - away from doomed ship. I see flash of light, like reflection from very bright and close lightning stroke. I sense death on large scale. Too bad for them, ha ha! We smash what ships manage escape. Soon nothing oppose us.
Essence!
I sense something flowing out of me, through Voltron. What? Essence not - not, at least, Lion Voltron essence. Vehicle Voltron essence! Her essence enter me! Just trace of it! And essences react not! I find way!
I tell Hawkins what commence. Typical - after battle, leader of victorious attack force need give fat-ass spiel about everything. OK, we blast bunch enemy fighters, we form teams, we blast bunch more enemy ships, I find giant mother ship, we form Voltron, she destroy mother ship, have few enemy cruisers for dessert. We come, we see, we kick ass. That gist of it.
But I have more report, of course. I tell Hawkins what happen to me, tell him perhaps way prove Voltron live to last holdouts. Hawkins tell me get some rest before need me they again. I scan for more enemy activity, then decide get some rest, as sense I enemy presence near Explorer not. Good time for me take it easy.
Next day quiet day. I practice manipulating Voltron essence in me. I focus on sleeping Voltron in hangar, find I can summon traces of her essence too. But I let essences mix not. Not yet. Not until I certain I can control their reaction.
Arguments continue in meantime. Cliff avoid most of his teammates, stick with Jeff, Ginger. Tagor reveal he join acceptors’ camp. Jeff, I sense, perhaps start lean towards believing. He have his doubts that day after my collapse and metamorphosis, he perhaps will abandon his doubt soon. Then Cliff and Ginger must. I can sense Voltron waiting. I can sense - confidence, confidence she have in me convince them all.
We have some rough going. I detect large concentration of enemy ships. I decide best we avoid them. We change course, take different spaceway, that delay us couple days, but give us some breathing room while finish we repairs on Explorer. With supplies limited, some repairs jerryrig jobs - enough see ship through, but Hawkins concerned how much Explorer can take. She in tip-top shape not, she face fierce battles ahead, especially when meet we Throk and company head-on. All more reason convince all Voltron team accept their destiny so Voltron, not Explorer, can take main brunt of battle.
Meanwhile finish I my "repairs" on Rocky - job done not until it done. I do more intense scanning of area, find we travel in fairly safe zone. I track enemy movements best I can, they follow us quite closely. I find they start converge on Explorer as near she Throk’s base. I pinpoint location of renegades’ headquarters more accurately, find we on right course for it. This critical time as approach we - time we most need Voltron, when must convince I Jeff and other doubters.
Following morning at breakfast I notice Voltron Force sit in two groups - twelve fate-acceptors in one place, three doubters in other. I sit with acceptors. Skeptics want truck with me not. I consume only glass mixed fruit juice. I talk with those prepared meet their destiny.
Cinda: "I’ve tried so hard to reach the doubters. They just won’t listen to any of us. Look - they won’t even sit with us at mealtime now. The more we try to win them over, the more determined they are to shut us out."
Rocky: "That Ginger sure likes to hang around Jeff. I think that’s why she don’t believe Todadler. She’ll go by just about anything he says. She’s a doubter just ‘cause Jeff is."
Wol: "I’m pretty sure Jeff will come over to our side eventually. Chip and I have managed to get through to him. He did tell me he’s been doing some thinking about what you’ve said about Voltron, especially after we all felt Voltron’s soul."
Chip: "I’m going to try to talk to Jeff today, if we don’t have an emergency. I bet by the end of the day he’ll be a believer."
Rocky: "And if ya win him over, I betcha’ll get Ginger, too."
Zandee: "Which leaves just Cliff."
Marvin: "That damn Cliff won’t have any of it. Try to mention it to him, and he goes berserk! I’m afraid to talk to him now. I’m afraid one of these days he’s going to up and slug me one."
Lisa: "At least we finally won Tagor over. That’s all of Sea Team, at least."
I say: "We need three more acceptors. Not one, not two - three. All fifteen of you must accept your destiny."
Murdoch: "Maybe when we convince Jeff and Ginger, then Cliff will see the light and join us. Then that will be all of us."
Cric: "And then Voltron can awaken."
Shannon: "It had better be soon. I understand we’re getting pretty close to Throk’s base."
I say: "Yes, we almost there. Just few more days. Now detect I enemies massing for one great attack on us. Sooner Voltron awaken, better. Perhaps only she can destroy that giant fleet. But I believe I find way demonstrate she live to all of you."
Lisa: "You’ve found a way to prove beyond all doubt that Voltron lives? So even Cliff will believe you?"
"Yes. I know I can convince even that blessed Cliff."
After breakfast I go to Voltron’s hangar. I stand next to command module. I will up essence of Lion Voltron in me to surface. I feel it - well, boil. How describe I something inennarrable in human experience in your language? We have many words for our inhuman experiences, feelings, senses, but many of them take many pages explain. I feel that essence rise to surface of my soul. I will it reach out to soul of Vehicle Voltron. I strain, carefully control this rising essence so only least sliver touch soul of slumbering Voltron. I still have much essence in myself. It actually increase in quantity since my experiment on Arus.
Jeff enter Voltron hangar, see me, say: "What the hell are you up to this time?"
"I believe I have way at last prove Voltron live."
"I thought I told you to lay off that stuff!"
"No, Jeff. I can lay off that stuff not. You and others need accept what tell I you. Otherwise you prepared for your destiny not."
"You really have gone off the deep end this time, haven’t you?"
"I perhaps someday will ‘go off deep end.’ But right now, I assure you, I still quite sane. Voltron drive me towards deep end, only way I can avoid complete madness convince you she alive, when awaken she you and rest of team merge with her. This time I certain I have way prove to you Voltron live. Besides, I hear you have second thoughts about your own beliefs concerning Voltron. I can tell you perhaps headed for change of heart. Chip and Wol tell me you have doubts about what think you."
"Not a chance."
"You fool me not, Jeff. I can sense it. I feel it now. Since see you me collapse after battle with four-legged robeast, you see me start turn into other Voltron, since tell your teammates you they feel Voltron’s very soul, you have second thoughts about this business. You start see light, yes."
I focus my mind on essence within me, on essence within sleeping giant whose head loom over me. I feel essence within me reach out. I will slenderest of tendrils ooze slowly out of my soul, into soul of Voltron, towards very seat of her life. I feel tendril stretch, yearn. I feel reaction start.
Tendril become two-way passage. Essence of Vehicle Voltron seep along metaphysical thread, into my soul. I feel intense joy - I make direct, controlled contact between essences of two Voltrons within my very own soul! Essence of Voltron seep into me, into my soul. I take in tiny sip of that soul-energy. It flow all through me. But nothing happen. I need more power, more essence!
I start breathe heavily, cause flare in my own life essence, inject more power into that tendril. I call on more Lion Voltron essence. Tendril thicken slowly. More Vehicle Voltron essence flow into me, gradually. I keep it at mere trickle avoid too powerful reaction. I sense Jeff nearby. I can feel Voltron essence in him.!
Essences slowly mingle, start heat-up. Or at least that best way describe what happen. Energy become more intense. I feel tightening, squeezing in my torso, head. I feel intensity increase. I try shut off connection, but it stay. Tendril refuse retract. With fierce effort I try reel it back into me, but it too strong. Essence flow start increase. Too fast!
I shout aloud: "Too fast! Pull back! Pull back! Break off! Pull back!"
Then suddenly reach essence critical energy, like critical mass of uranium. Reaction suddenly unleash copious psychic energy. I stagger back from command module as start my vision fog. Pain, like that I feel in experiment, roar through me like torrents of flash flood. I hear Jeff shouting something in fear, but my mind out of phase with my surroundings. I realize I manage break metaphysical contact with Voltron, but her and other Voltron’s essences react violently in my body, in my soul. I feel that same pain crackling along my limbs. I collapse to my knees.
My hands become like Lions. My feet too. I feel horns, then Lionhead helmet, ooze out of my head. Red wings grow from my back. I see my skin peel, reveal metallic skin like Lion Voltron. This should happen not! I have only trace of her essence in me! Not enough for complete metamorphosis, no!
But changes stop! I now have Lion Voltron, half Todadler. Storm of reaction still rage like tornado. I feel pain subside, but my mind still caught in fury of essence reaction. I see into Vehicle Voltron’s soul, but what see I already known.
Jeff come towards me. I shout: "Stay back! My body stable not! Stay back! Get out of here! GET OUT OF HERE!" But he just stand there.
I remember well my experiment back on Arus, so terrifying, so painful! Nagh-kaar rikani fear pain not, only madness - loss of control. Fury of uncontrollable psionic power unleashed in us, through us, whisking even our mighty and indomitable minds like tumbleweeds in Oklahoma tornado. Such what experience I now - total, complete madness. Total loss of control. But I cling to my confidence, my will like survivor of shipwreck to piece flotsam. I remember first time I come through, I survive physically and psychically, storm last only so long, I make it through. Yet sometimes seem as if my experiment over not--
Then I feel pain ripping through my limbs, across my skin again. I manage look through fog of energy, use my eyes for few moments. I change again! This time, parts that first become like Lion Voltron become like Vehicle Voltron! Lion hands become human-shape hands, black and metallic. Lion helmet become cone shape, horns disappear, ailerons grow. Wings on my back vanish, ooze back into my body. Lionhead feet become land vans. Shins become blue and metallic. Red airplane ooze through my chest. My mind spin wildly, but I hang onto my own will, determined stay in control even in this psychic roller coaster ride.
I sense Jeff’s terror, then intense pain. His proximity to me expose him to this release of energy. He in mortal danger not, but he in great pain. I catch glimpse of him, he ghastly sight, clutching at his head, screaming in agony, blood oozing from eyes, nose, mouth, ears until his whole face scarlet. He scream: "TODADLER! HELP ME!"
I reach out to him, physically, mentally, spiritually. "Jeff!" I try touch him in some way. I see him fall to his knees, then collapse unconscious.
Mental spinning finally slow down, fog thin. Energy of reaction spent now. Pain melt away. My senses return to normal. I can feel, see, hear, otherwise sense as before. I find myself lying on side in semi-fetal position, my mouth open. I see Jeff nearby, still unconscious. Then he slowly rise. His face red mask of blood.
I finally manage rise, sit. Jeff can barely open his eyes. He look at me, say: "Todadler - I felt it! I felt Voltron’s soul! And I saw Voltron’s true nature, and my destiny - and the destiny of all of Voltron Force! It was the most terrifying experience of my life, and yet, somehow, I feel - I can’t really describe it. Joyful somehow - but it’s a joy you can’t express with words."
I sense it. Great joy - joy at overcoming greatest of all fears. That his happiness! He see his own destiny. Mortals fear ineluctable fate much. Seeing his destiny right in his own mind certainly frighten poor Jeff, for he know he can escape such fate not. But he face it, he accept it, now feel he great elation that he overcome his greatest, darkest, worst fear!
I say: "Jeff, you feel great joy because you accept your destiny, you face, overcome your greatest dread. You happy because you can face your fate, and also because you know that as Voltron you immortal, you realize all mortals’ dream - have undying, superpowered body. All mortals secretly long for immortality, have mighty powers. You know that your destiny, still it scare you. But now you fear it not."
Now broadcast Jeff sorrow. He say: "Yes, I am happy that I will become one with Voltron, and with all my friends in Voltron Force. But now I am sad as well. When I become Voltron, I will have to leave behind my home, my family and my friends. I don’t want to leave this galaxy - maybe that is why my destiny seems so frightening."
"Now that know you your destiny for certain, you accept it. You must help me co